This was mine. I look up and find the communal bathroom only a few rows over. The silence here is more unsettling than the knowledge that I once spent a considerable amount of time here is. There’s a longing for the sound of others stirring in their cots, talking long into the evening. If I shut my eyes I can hear the sounds I’d left behind.
The water in the shower hisses, filling the space and grabbing my attention.
I walk through the bathroom and stop when I reach the showers. Surprised when I find Mori beneath one.
His arm is pressed up on the wall to support his leaning frame. All of his clothes are still on, drenched with water. His hair clings to his face and a short hiccup of misery escapes him, shoulders trembling as he lets his head fall more into the cascade of water.
I watch him for a long time. Unsure if I should try to see if he’s okay or remain where I am. Warmth flushes across my cheeks and sinks down into my stomach. My anger for him seems to always quickly shift into something more lewd and twisted.
He eventually turns off the shower and turns around. His eyes harden the moment he sees me standing here, but he doesn’t look surprised to see me.
I swallow the nerves building in my throat. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to stay for as long as I did,” I say slowly. He walks past me and dismisses me completely.
Mori strips down, letting the wet clothes fall to his feet. I inhale at his exposed skin and try to keep my eyes above his waistline. Heopens one of the cabinets against the wall and takes a black long-sleeved shirt and pants out.
Going commando?I look down at his cock and take a deep breath at the size of him. My cheeks burn and I force my gaze to the floor. There’s no way he’s ever fit inside me before. My core aches with need at the very thought of it.
“What happened back there? You’re acting…off.” I try to confront him on it again.
He pulls his shirt on and glares at me over his shoulder when I take a few steps closer to him.
“Don’t.” Mori lets his head tilt down and shakes it slowly. “I’m not myself right now. Neither are you.” I try to focus on his words, but my eyes keep getting drawn to the arteries in his neck that protrude from his skin.
The heat in my center becomes more unbearable. I want to touch him, delicately, softly. But I also want him to touch me as callously as he touches everything else. To feel his cruelness the way I believe it’s meant to be felt.
“I’mevil, remember?” he mumbles, letting his eyes lazily fall over me. If it weren’t for his lovely pained expression, I’d be more enraged with him.
“I honestly didn’t think you’d take it to heart when I said it.” I cross my arms as I follow him out of the showers, walking through the barracks.
He grunts. “You were right when you said that I don’t have one.”
I level him with an exasperated look. “Then why are you pouting about it?”
Mori stops dead in his tracks and whirls on me. It takes me by surprise and we fall back onto one of the cots. He inhales sharply, both hands pinned over my wrists and holding them down by each side of my head. Every nerve ending is on high intensity from his cold fingers down to where our crotches are pressed together.
His grip is brutal. Inescapable.
“What do you want from me, Emery?” His voice is raspy as his eyes dip down to my lips. His hands are hot, seeping into my veins like liquid lust.
“I want you to tell me everything that happened in the Under Trials. I want you to tell me who we are to each other.” My lower lip trembles as I take him in. His scent of birch is so intoxicating, I could steep in it forever. I bite down into my lower lip to quell the urge to lift my chin and kiss him. Wet strands of his hair spill onto my forehead as I find the universe in his eyes.
Who are you, really?
He takes a long breath before letting his body slump down farther on top of mine. His lips are soft against the shell of my ear. I think he might say something but he only clenches his jaw and loosens his hold from around my wrists.
He rises slowly and then stares down into my eyes. He must see how I desperately long for him. My brows knit and my thighs try to rub together to ease the tension there. His knee keeps them apart, feeling my attempt at staving off the desire that collects between my thighs for him.
“Fuck,” he whispers, torment stretching over his tense expression.
I see it in his eyes—the moment he surrenders to his lust. The ice he keeps set in his soul melts and his lashes lower, hooding his gaze. He stares upon me like there is no separation between light and dark, as if we truly are two soldiers cursed to circle one another dangerously, only to secretly meet at dusk and let the blood on our hands disappear with the sun.
Mori lowers his forehead to mine, taking a deep breath as our lips softly brush, not quite a kiss. His left arm is braced over my head, and he slips his right hand under my lower back, fingertips drawing lines over my skin.
“You don’t remember me,” he murmurs. “But I can never forget you.” His mouth collides with mine before I can process his words. I’m overcome with his intoxicating, woodsy scent, and the weight of his endearment. He kisses me fervently, like he’s been holding himself back with chains and he’s only now about to devour me. I relish in it, arching my back up instinctively and moaning as our tongues explore one another.
His teeth skate over my bottom lip and a small whimper escapes me as his body comes down over mine. Heat races through my lower abdomen and the pressure of his leg against my crotch has me mindlessly grinding against his thigh.
He nudges my legs apart with his knee and buries his fingers into my hip. I gasp at the motion and the pressure that his thumb has, digging into my sensitive flesh. He chuckles over my lips, pulling back enough for me to see him clearly. His eyes fill with restraint, and he sits back on his haunches like he might stop and leave me here.
