I drop my voice to a whisper.“I miss it.”My heart contracts.“I miss having you beside me.I miss your fingers brushing against mine.I miss you asking me questions about kissing.I miss knowing you in that form.I miss connecting with you—I miss the Axel I had started to love.”
There’s a strange sound then, like the roaring of a sports car engine, and I slowly open my eyes.
And then I sit up.
Because Axel—the Axel I’ve longed to see—black hair shaggy and full around his face, is standing in front of me.He’s wearing the weirdest clothing, though.I can’t help laughing.“What on earth are you wearing?”
He looks down at his clothing.“It’s the same thing Norm was wearing when we first met.”
It’s a red, stylized medieval jacquard coat with gold buttons.It looks utterly ridiculous.
And entirely delicious.
I stretch up to my knees, and I hold out one finger, curling it back toward me.“Come here.Now.”And then, I purr.
26
Axel
I’m small.
I’m so very, very small.
This body is strange.Everythingfeelsdifferent.Everythinglooksdifferent.
Including Liz.
Instead of being tiny, so tiny that I have to be careful not to crush her, she’s almost the same size as me.
When she stands up, her wings flaring behind her slightly, and she beckons me with a finger, “Come here.Now,” something inside of my strange bodyshivers.My heart beats faster, and I experience a bizarre desire and also an unfamiliar fear of listening to her.We’re bonded, and I know she would never hurt me, but she sounded almost predatory when she made the trilling sound after ordering me.
I liked it.
I liked it a lot.
I haven’t lamented the supposed loss of being able to shift into this human form, and when she’s spoken of it infrequently, I mostly discounted her words, but now I’m starting to understand how this shape might help our bond deepen.
“You want me to come onto the bed?”My spoken voice is strange—deeper and rougher than Liz’s.
Her eyes widen, and she blinks.“Oh.”She shakes her head.“I’m—you don’t even remember—it’s just.”Her entire face turns a bright red.“Never mind.”She plops back on the bed, her legs crossed, and her wings tucking up behind her.
“Are you alright?”I can’t help peering at her, from her level this time.
It’s nice.
“I’m fine,” she snaps, clearly irritable for no reason I can fathom.
“I’m in the form you wished for, am I not?Or do I look different than I did before?”
Again, her face flushes.“No, I mean, yes, you look exactly the same.”But she’s staring at her hands, and then she clenches her fists.“She told me youcouldn’tshift anymore after I chose to make the earth blessed stronger.”When she looks up this time, her eyes are flashing.“Your mother—she’s just theworst.”
“I’ve never met her,” I say.“I’m...sorry?”
She stands up again, flouncing across the length of the bed, her wings fluffing out and then tucking again as she moves, balancing her easily.She’s gotten much better at using them.“Of course you’re not sorry.It’s between me and Freya.”
“I am—I’m confused,” I say.
She hops down so that she’s standing right in front of me.“Your mother—it’s like she hit the pause button on us, but we didn’t have to pause.I think she did it just tomesswith me.She should’ve told me flat out, but she let me flounder around.”She shakes her head.“That was just...it was mean.”She jabs me in the chest, but she leaves her finger there, pressing against me.Her eyes widen, her nostrils flare, and she inhales sharply.“I forgot how beautiful your chest was.”She drags her finger down a little, still staring at it.
