He shoved his legs into the sweats, pulling them up with a rough yank. He’d gone to the gym for an extra workout yesterday, too.
“Don’t you think you’re pushing yourself a little too hard?”
He shrugged, walking back to the bed to kiss me on the cheek. “I’ve got to get more explosive on my sprints.” He grabbed his keys and was gone a second later, the door clicking shut behind him.
The silence that swooped in was a vacuum. I lay back down on his pillow, breathing in the faint mix of his cologne and detergent.
Logan was nothing if not a hard worker. If something wasn’t right, he carved into it with relentless precision until it bent into submission. He fixed everything by doing.
I closed my eyes, forcing my lungs to fill. Less than two weeks, and we’d be walking through the finished gallery together. Less than two weeks, and Logan and I would hit the agreed-upon end point for whatever this was.
Our expiration date was approaching.
My stomach twisted so sharply I had to roll onto my side. Was I really just another drill he was running? Another weak point to strengthen? Another item on a list he could put acheckmark beside once he’d improved enough to move on? That was what we’d agreed upon, wasn’t it?
The idea slammed my chest with a two-by-four.
Of course that’s what I was—what we were. Logan criticized his parents, but what was the difference between them and us? How could he be angry with his mom and have a real conversation with her when he didn’t want anything more than fake?
I swung my legs over the side of the bed and forced my feet onto the floor. I grabbed my clothes, tugging them on with shaking hands, then shoved my toiletries into my bag, slung my coat over my arm, and ran to the phone.
Tears pricked my eyes as I dialled. There was only one person who knew exactly what I was feeling. Only one person who could snap me out of this, and I couldn’t wait another second to talk to her.
Chapter
Twenty-Six
By the timeI made it to Shar and Rob’s front step, my jeans were soaked halfway up my shins, and my eyelashes had tiny ice crystals clinging to them. The snowstorm had rolled in fast. One of those Alberta specials where the sky went from normal to end of days in an hour. The wind clawed at my scarf as I hunched against it, one gloved hand clamped around a Tupperware of cookies I’d brought for them. Jenna made them. She’d picked me up from Logan’s, but I insisted on walking to Shar’s since Jenna had a paper due in the morning and I wasn’t ready to leave right away.
I regretted everything.
I knocked, and Shar opened the door, hair in a messy bun, wearing leggings and one of Rob’s oversized hoodies. Warm air spilled out, smelling like fresh bread and oregano.
“What are you doing out in this?” she demanded, grabbing my sleeve and hauling me inside. “You’re going to freeze to death.”
“To be fair, I didn’t know it was going to dump.” I held the door open and kicked snow off my shoes. “Also, hi.”
I handed her the cookies and got my shoes off, then took off my toque and unwrapped my scarf, avoiding her eyes. When I finally looked up, every emotion inside me rushed forward like the tide.
I clamped my jaw, trying to fight it back, but my eyes still watered, making my nose tingle so bad, I coughed.
Shar dropped the cookies on the side table and pulled me into a hug. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“I call bullshit. What’s going on?” She held me while I sobbed into her shoulder, and when I finally pulled back, I didn’t have to say anything.
Shar’s face fell. “Oh, Crys . . .”
“I didn’t mean for it to happen!”
Shar grabbed my hand and pulled me to the couch. We sank onto the cushions, and she handed me a tissue box. Baby toys were scattered on the rug, there was a stack of music scores on the coffee table, and a half-finished mug of tea on the end table, now accompanied by the cookies I brought.
Shar tucked her legs under her. “Okay. Start talking.”
So I did. I told her about the late-night phone calls. The reception at the Palliser. Started with the weekend at the Banff Springs hotel and then struggled to explain what had happened that night in our hotel room.
“He saidwhat?” Shar’s eyes flashed, and I had to talk her down.
