That moment.When Megs accidentally killed the lights and kissed him. Her stomach dropped through the bottom of the cushion she sat on. If the complaint had been filed before that . . . then everything she’d told the Title Nine coordinator was superfluous. That woman hadn’t given her any indication that she didn’t know what Megs was talking about.
Gideon rubbed his hands on his slacks. “The claim has been dropped anyway. I think the professor who filed it had a problem with me meeting with students one-on-one, and Jen—the student who was listed in the claim went in and cleared things up.”
Megs’ mouth went dry.Gideon thought a professor had filed the claim?He thought Jennifer was the student in question?They hadn’t told him, then. The claim had been filed by a student andshehad been the student listed as the victim. They wouldn’t tell her who had filed, but Megs had her money on Jennifer. She’d seen them together in the parking lot, and after all her efforts to capture Gideon’s attention, that must’ve rankled.
In the office, she’d told them how she’d lied to Gideon about not being a student, then how she’d kissed him without consent. She told the coordinator that Gideon had clearly stated the boundaries. He’d repeatedly informed her that he would not engage in a relationship with a student, and Megs had ignored it.
They’d expelled her immediately. Gideon must have seen that she was off his roster. Maybe that was why he’d been so worried abouther tonight. Maybe . . . Megs cleared her throat and looked around for her tea. She’d left it in the bedroom. “I’m so glad to hear that.”
“Megs, about what happened—”
“You didn’t need to apologize, Gideon. You didn’t do anything wrong. I was the one who couldn’t—” She shook her head and tightened her grip on the blanket.Who couldn’t stop thinking about you.Who couldn’t maintain an ounce of self-control.She couldn’t bring herself to say it.
Gideon had seen her text to Haley. She’d kissed him when she shouldn’t have. He knew how she felt, and if he felt the same way, he needed to be the one to admit it. Though how he could have feelings for her after she stomped all over his boundaries was beyond her. Either way, her heart couldn’t handle another rejection, especially not after he had every reason to want to keep his distance.
“I know Matt screwed up, but I still think you should do the audition.” Gideon’s voice was low.
Megs shook her head and curled her legs up on the couch. “I’m just sick of it. I’m sick of trying to make acting happen only to find out that I’m not the right height, or I have the wrong eye color, or the progress I thought I was making wasn’t real because the men at the top only want to get with me. And I’m not lumping Oscar into that category, I get that people make mistakes, but I have a good job. I’m moving into my own place, and I just think I need some time.”
Gideon considered. “Megs, if you’re telling me that you honestly don’t want to do this narration, I’ll believe you. I’ll leave, and I won’t push you on it, but I don’t think that’s true.”
“How would you know if that’s true?”
Gideon leaned forward and rested his arms on his knees. “I told you. I’ve been paying attention.”
Megs’ insides felt like a lit sparkler.You do this thing with your fingers where you mimic them sometimes, like you want to know what it feels like to move like another person.He was a good teacher.
She couldn’t tell him she didn’t want to do the narration. Of course, she wanted it. But wanting it had always been the problem, hadn’t it? “I already missed the audition, Gideon.”
Gideon pulled his phone from the pocket of his coat. “We can record it right now.”
Megs barked a laugh. “Here? Do you see hownotsound-treated this room is?”
“Do you think Matt will care? He might be an idiot when it comes to real-life women, but he cares deeply about his fake ones. All he wants is for this manuscript and this series to come to life.”
“Gideon, I’ve barely talked to anyone today. My voice isn’t warmed up, and I don’t think I can lower it for—”
“I’ll do it with you. I’ll read Nathan’s lines.”
“And Oscar would be okay with that?” She shot him a skeptical look. Why was he so insistent she submit something? Especially crappy audio where she wasn’t even voicing both characters?
“I just—” Gideon straightened and set his phone on the table. “I want him to hear you before he makes his decision.”
Megs held his gaze even when the tips of her fingers started to tingle. “It’s late, Gideon.”
“It won’t take long. I have the script right here.”
“Why do you care so much about this?”
Gideon drew a slow breath and exhaled. “Because you’re good, Megs.”
Megs’ throat tightened. She wanted to say that didn’t matter. That no matter how good she was, things weren’t going to work out for her and acting. She wanted to tell him Oscar had plenty of options for thisnarration, and it wouldn’t matter if she submitted. She wanted to tell him no.
But something in his eyes forced every argument back, and the only word that came out of her mouth was, “Okay.”
Why doyou care so much about this?The question echoed in Gideon’s head. “Because you’re good” was the most obvious answer, but he could’ve replied with others that would’ve been closer to the truth. Because you doubt yourself and you shouldn’t. Because you want it, and you deserve to get something you want. Because even though you won’t admit it, you care about this.
Because even though I can’t admit it, I care about you.
