Country nodded, his eyes tracing the edges of her face. “You can’t give me one of the things I want.”
Not past tense. This was very present. Very permanent. No amount of rage or refusal or hope or prayer was going to change the fact that Gentry had always wanted a family, and she couldn’t make it happen.
“It’s kind of a big thing.”
He watched her, unmoving, his hand still pressed to her skin. “There are a lot of big things, though, Jens.”
Jenna’s eyes filled with tears, and she squeezed them shut. “Don’t?—”
“It’s the truth.”
When she opened her eyes, her lashes were wet, and her vision blurred. “I won’t do that to you. I can’t.” She lifted a hand and ran it over the stubble on his jaw.
“Jenna—”
“Just stay with me for a minute?” She tugged on the collar of his shirt, and Country easily slid back into bed next to her, moulding to her body like they were a matched set. She closed her eyes, exhaustion making her head fuzzy and her thoughts dead weight. As her body sank into the mattress, she matched her breathing with the rise and fall of Country’s chest against her back.
As she floated in the space between consciousness and nothingness, she thought she heard, “I’ll stay as long as you want.”
She exhaled and pulled Gentry’s arm a little tighter around her. “You remember my brother Travis?” Gentry nodded, his nose brushing her hair. “His wife’s pregnant. She’s due early summer.”
Gentry squeezed a little tighter. “I’m sorry, Jens.”
Tears leaked from her eyes onto her pillow. “I should be happy for them.”
“Are you and Travis talking again?”
“It’s not like we don’t talk. We’re just not close like we used to be.”
Country’s thumb swung back and forth like a lazy pendulum over her wrist. “You don’t have to be happy for them.”
“It makes me a terrible person.”
“It makes you a normal person.”
Jenna pinched her lips together and squeezed her eyes shut. “I want to be happy for them.”
Gentry kissed the top of her head. “I know.”
They lay there together until Jenna’s breathing mirrored his. Until her eyelids drooped closed. Until summer grass and spots of red swirled in and out of focus in Jenna’s head.
“Gentry?” she murmured.
“Hmm?”
“If I could eat a strawberry, I would.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Country woke to the sound of a phone buzzing. It took him a moment to remember where he was, but as Jenna drew a deep breath and her shoulder rose against the inside of his bicep, the night before crashed into his head. He was in Jenna's bed. He'd fallen asleep. He carefully turned his head to check the window. Still dark between the blinds. What time was it?
He cautiously lifted his arm and reached for his phone still buzzing on the nightstand. It was Polk calling. At five fifteen in the morning? Country cancelled the call and flipped to his text messages. Three missed from his brother.
Where are you? Came to the house but no answer
Bud, we have an issue. Call me ASAP
Water main burst overnight. Pastures are flooding. Get your ass out here
