She drew a breath and held it, then let it release when her lungs burned. “How?”
Brett paused, considering. “I don't know, exactly. I know a big part of it had to do with the team. I didn't want to lose my spot on the Snowballs.”
“You almost did?”
“Yeah. A couple different times. First with Fly and then with Sean when he first became captain.”
“You've been playing with them for bit, then.”
“They're like my second family.”
Penny stared up at the swathe of glittering points. If she was being honest, they were starting to feel like her family, too.
“I was lucky. Lucky that something clicked in my head, and lucky to have the support that I did.”
A lump formed in Penny's throat. She’d tried to give Lucas all the support he could possibly need—their whole family had. Why did some people find a way through it and so many others couldn’t? What made the difference, and why hadn’t she been able to find it?
That question gripped her with sharpened claws. “I tried so hard,” she whispered. “I did everything for him. I was available anytime he called. I gave him money. I gave him all the time he asked for. I gave him everything—”
Her voice caught, and she worked to swallow back her tears.
Brett didn’t try to shush her or tell her she’d done everything right. Instead, he tucked his arm under his head and said, “My sister did the same thing for me. I think I ruined her life for a long time.”
The words tugged on the end of a string and loosened a knot she’d held in her chest for almost a decade. Penny turned in her sleeping bag to look at his moonlit profile.
“Eventually it got to be too much and we didn’t talk for a long time,” he continued.Yes,Penny thought. She’d hated Lucas. Wanted to never talk to him again. Hoped he’d do something permanent so he couldn’t hurt her anymore, and those were the thoughts that made her want to shrivel up and die whenever she remembered them. How could she love him and think those things?How could she want to abandon him when he was so desperate for help?
Because it hurt. Because each time he fell back into using, a thread inside of her snapped, and she didn’t know what would happen when the entire rope frayed to nothing.
“Do you talk to your sister now?” she asked.
Brett nodded. “We're working on it.”
Penny rubbed her feet together under her sleeping bag trying to get friction to work its magic and warm her up.
“Here.” Brett propped his head up, then reached over and found the zipper on her sleeping bag. “Is this okay?”
Blood rushed in Penny’s ears. She nodded because she couldn’t think straight enough to ask him what he was planning to do. Brett unzipped her sleeping bag, allowing a cool rush of air in next to her. She shivered.
“Give me your feet,” he said. Penny balked, and Brett breathed a laugh. “I’m serious.”
With trepidation, she unfurled her legs and pointed them toward his sleeping bag. He caught her ankles and slipped off her socks, then pressed her icy soles against both sides of his right knee and clamped his other leg over her toes. She nearly sighed at the sudden burst of heat.
“My knee is aching, so I figured you could ice it for me.”
Penny laughed and shifted so her hip wasn’t rotated at an odd angle. Brett looked down at her legs that were only covered in her joggers. He reached out and grabbed on to her sleeping bag, tugging her closer, then pulled the top of his sleeping bag over her knees. “Better?”
Penny nodded. This was better. So much better she was having a difficult time convincing her lungs to fill with air. Especially since Brett’s face was barely six inches in front of her face, and even in the dim light, they reflected blue.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“You’re doing my knee a favour, remember?” The corner of his mouth lifted, and Penny had never wanted to kiss something so badly in her entire life. Maybe it was the laughter, or the cozy feet, or the vast night sky over their heads, but Penny suddenly couldn’t remember why she’d ever thought kissing Brett was a bad idea.
“I’m sorry your tent only had one pole,” he murmured, and Penny shivered as his voice vibrated through her.
“Very inconvenient.”
Brett’s lip twitched. “Good night, Penny.”
