“The look that says ‘I want youif.’ I want you, Tyler,ifyou can stop acting like a slut at the bar.Ifyou can be in a committed relationship.Ifyou can change who you’ve been for the past thirteen years!”
“Of course I want you to change! We all have to change, Tyler! Don’t you thinkIneed to change? I’m terrified of getting into another relationship because I don’t trust myself not to get sucked into someone else's shadow and lose my way again. Or to see the signs soon enough to get out if it’s terrible.” Her cheeks warmed, and her eyes filled with tears.
Tyler’s expression softened. When he spoke, his voice was rough. “I don’t know if I can be those things. I don’t want to keep doing this, but I don’t know any other way, and if I try to figure this out, I’ll hurt you, Emma. I know I’ll—”
“I’malready hurting,Tyler.” Emma flicked a tear off her cheek, her breath coming in short bursts. She forced her lungs to expand, then exhaled. “Is this what you do?”
Tyler threw up his hands. “Yes, that’s what I’m trying to tell you, it’s exactly—”
“No, Tyler! Isthiswhat you do? Give up? Refuse to try? When you’re lacking a skill in hockey, do you avoid it?”
“Emma, that has nothing to do—”
“Or do you get on thedamn iceand practise until you get it right?” She stared at him and pointed at the pile of pucks behind them, her eyes flashing. Tyler didn’t move. He didn’t speak. “I don’t want youif.I want you because this is the first time in a year I haven’t felt broken. And even though I know this scares us both shitless, I don’t want anyone else to have this first with you.”
The words were so honest, they felt like a punch to her own gut. Emma clenched her middle as her eyes burned. She wouldn’t let him see her break down, not when he was going to stand there against the boards like a coward. She turned before another tear spilled over and stormed away from him.
There was a sharp slap of a blade on ice, and then a rumble and scrape against the boards. Emma turned, but before she could see what was happening, Tyler grasped her face between his hands. He kissed her hard, and colour exploded across her vision. Emma sighed against his lips as Tyler’s hands ran through her hair, tensing and releasing.
“Did you use a hockey metaphor because you didn’t think I’d understand anything else?” He growled, then slipped his tongue past her lips.
She tipped her head back, reaching for something to grab onto, but only finding hard hockey pads. “Absolutely.” Her back arched as one of Tyler’s hands travelled down her spine. Why was she wearing this coat?Why was he wearing his hockey equipment?
“I didn’t want to leave the hot tub,” he forced out before hungrily attacking her mouth.
“It didn’t—” Emma whimpered as Tyler tugged on her hair and trailed his lips to her neck.
“It didn’t, what?”
His voice rumbled against her voice box making every hair stand on end, as if lightning were about to strike.
“It didn’tlooklike you wanted to leave, but then I thought—” She gasped as Tyler pulled her skin into his mouth.
“What did you think?”
Emma swallowed hard. “That maybe the water was just hot.”
Tyler chuckled. “Something was hot.” He pulled on her zipper and pushed his hands into her coat, his lips never leaving her neck. “Did you flash me on purpose?”
Emma panted out a laugh. “No, I—” She couldn’t think, couldn’t force her mind to focus on anything other than the ripples of pleasure radiating across her skin or the heat pooling at her centre. She needed to take her coat off or she was going to have a stroke.
As she lifted her hand, the sound of metal gears and squeaking panels split the silence. Emma squealed and jumped as Tyler gripped onto her waist. He spun around to see Jem throwing up his hands atop the Zamboni. With his dark blue coveralls and thinning hair, he stood up and scanned the ice, then spotted Tyler behind the boards.
He threw up his hands and shouted something. Tyler lifted an arm and pointed at Emma. “I’m a bit busy at the moment! Give me a sec!” He turned, but Jem hit the horn in successive bursts.
Tyler’s nostrils flared.
Emma laughed and shoved him forward. “Just go get your crap off the ice. I’ll wait, I promise.”
Tyler shook out his hands, then jumped back over the boards and skated over to the pile of pucks. Emma leaned against the boards, trying to catch her breath. The cold air did little to cool her flushed cheeks.
Tyler skated effortlessly across the rink, leaning over to scoop up puck after puck and throw them in the bucket. She couldn’t take her eyes off him as his body bent, his jersey stretching tight over his pads. When the ice was clear, he picked up the bucket, then skated over and dragged the net with him to the other side of the rink.
He hoisted the net over and stored the pucks, then skated back across the ice as the low rumble of the Zamboni echoed through the arena. Jem shouted at Tyler as he pulled the machine onto the ice, but Tyler ignored him.
He stopped next to the boards, sending a spray of shavings into the air. Emma’s heart skipped as his hazel eyes fixed on her.
"I need to grab my stuff and change.” His gaze dropped to her lips, lingering for a fraction of a second too long.
