His throat tightened, shutting down all the words begging to burst out of him.I want it to be real. I want you. You have no idea how much I want you.
Pressure built behind his eyes as he remembered her standing in his living room with the phone to her ear, talking to Sean.You know that’s not what I want.
Emma’s toes grazed the outside of his thigh, and he was breaking. His body lit on fire from the inside out. If he didn’t touch her, he was going to lose his damn mind.
But if he touched her? He wouldn’t stop. He would consume her, body and soul, and where would that leave them? Emma knew what she wanted. She’d made it abundantly clear she wasn’t looking for nights of Jell-O shots and fast pleasure.
She knew who he was—who he’d always been—but that hopeful look in her eyes wasn’t saying she wantedthatTyler. She wanted him restored. A history stripped down and refurbished. Old, rotten beams ripped out and replaced with materials built to last.
His chest tightened. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Emma.” He pushed himself up to the edge of the hot tub, not even trying to hide the evidence of what her touch did to him.He didn’t have a damn towel.
Tyler twisted and dropped his feet to the freezing cold ground. Pressure built behind his eyes as he stalked back to the sliding door, the mountain air snapping against his dripping skin. His insides churned as he walked into the bedroom, not daring to look back.
He stumbled into the bathroom and turned on the shower.Cold.“I’ve always wanted a car wash shower.”Tyler gritted his teeth and slapped his hand against the tile.
Tyler hung his head under the freezing spray and shivered, goosebumps lifting on his flushed skin.He’d hurt her.He’d walked away, and he’d hurt her.
He didn’t know how long he stood there forcing himself to breathe before changing the temperature, but it felt like hours. How could he go out there and face her?
He finally turned off the water when his hands and feet were wrinkled. She probably wanted to rinse off. He’d left the dessert plate there for Emma to clean up, and she didn’t have a towel either.
Shit.What a mess. He was a self-centred asshole, and now Emma was paying for it on a night that should’ve been an escape. He could’ve at least talked with her, though at the moment, all the blood wasn’t exactly circulating in his brain.
The cold water clung to Tyler's skin as he stepped out of the shower, his body still recovering from the numbing deluge. He wrapped himself in a towel and reached for his boxer briefs, pulling them on with clumsy fingers.
He hung the towel on the hook behind the door, then hesitated before opening the door. Steam billowed into the bedroom, and he waited for it to clear. The room was dark, the only light coming from the stars visible through the skylights.Maybe she was still on the patio?
Tyler stepped out, feeling along the wall as he searched for his clothes. What was he going to say to her? How could he explain?
He’d tell her the truth like an adult instead of being a coward.
Tyler found his shirt on the end of the bed and pulled it over his head, then froze.
There she was.
Curled into a tiny ball so close to the edge of the bed, she’d fall off if she moved. He padded across the plush rug and knelt down in front of her.
Asleep.Mascara smudged. Fully dressed under the covers.
His ribs ratcheted, squeezing his lungs until they ached.
Tyler stood and saw the desserts sitting on the writing desk. The door was locked. He rounded the end of the bed, his head spinning. Lifting the comforter and top sheet, he slipped into bed, not even bothering to go back to the bathroom and brush his teeth. He thought of the basket of toiletries still sitting on the counter in the kitchen. The way Emma’s eyes had lit up in the lobby.
He twisted his hands in the sheets and clenched them until his nails bit into his palms.
* * *
Emma held her breath as Tyler moved around the room, each sound making it less likely that her lungs would fill with air. If he’d stayed ten more seconds in front of her, she would’ve exploded. She was sure of it.
Sobs threatened to escape her lips, but she gritted her teeth and clutched her pillow like she’d just jumped out of a plane and it was her parachute. At the moment, it felt like the only thing keeping her from shattering on the ground.
Finally, the soft scuffs of his feet silenced, and then the mattress moved as he laid down on the other side of the bed. Emma couldn’t relax. She could barely breathe. Tears leaked down her cheeks as she laid in the silence, waiting for Tyler’s breath to slow and deepen.
Sleep must have claimed her at some point because when her eyes flew open, the moon was directly over the skylights. Her eyes felt like they were lined with sandpaper, and her head throbbed. She grappled for her phone on the nightstand and checked the clock. Five-thirty.
The night before downloaded into her brain, and her stomach heaved. She rushed as quietly as possible to the bathroom in case she threw up and splashed water on her face when the initial wave of nausea passed.She had to get out of here.The idea of seeing Tyler’s face when he woke made her want to burrow in a hole and starve to death.
Emma tiptoed out of the bathroom and began gathering her things. Despite her best efforts, her eyes were pulled toward the bed like iron filings to a magnet. Tyler slept on his back, one arm draped over his chest and the other curled under his pillow. His lashes splayed across his cheeks, his chest rising and falling with slow, steady breaths.
