I squeeze my eyes shut hard to cut off the image supply. When I reopen them, Xander’s smirk hasn’t left.
“Stop fucking with me,” I say before I’m able to control myself. I watch in horror as Jake continues to type.
“What have you prepared?” Xander says, ignoring my request.
“What have I prepared?” I say, repeating his words with a lace of mockery. His eyes flare in irritation at this. Then, he leans back and crosses his arms, like I’m a total inconvenience.
What a fucking asshole.
“What is your educational background?” Liam says, his gentle voice cutting through the tension. “Let’s start there.” I can see Xander glaring at him, but he doesn’t argue. Instead he sits back up straight and waits for my reply.
“I’m a chemistry teacher,” I say, neutral. I’m thankful for the redirect.
“What do you know about love and chemistry?” Xander says, not letting up.
“Excuse me?” I say, letting his attitude get the better of me.
“Do I need to repeat the question?” he says. God, he’s arrogant when he’s in full lawyer mode. Fuck him.
“You want to know what I know?” I say, leaning forward, taking the bait.
“Well, I asked the question, didn’t I?”
Exasperated at this little game he’s playing, I let loose with my new theory. “While you can experience love without lust or lust without love, it’s possible to experience both at the same time for the same person. In fact, studies have shown, contrary to popular belief, that lust and lovearen’tmutually exclusive.” I’m practically shouting but now that the floodgates have opened, I don’t stop. His lips part slightly, but nothing comes out.
“While lust is something that can hit you like a brick wall, lust is also something you can cultivate. Same with love. Lust and love can develop over time through shared experiences and self-disclosure,” I say, the words tumbling out in full fucking confession for Jake to document forever. And yet, I have more to say because I can’t seem to shut up.
“Lust developing over time. It happens to people. It’s science. My experience, though? Love and lust—theybothhit me the day I met you. I was just too scared, too heartbroken, too afraid to let you in,” I say, shaking through my rage.
It’s only after I stop that I realize what I’ve said.
I’m standing now. So is Xander.
I can almost hear his heart beating, it’s so loud. Like maybe this is too much for him.
Then, without looking at Jake or Liam, he says to them, “Leave now.”
They get up and leave without saying a word until it’s just Xander and I staring each other down on opposite sides of the boardroom.
There’s a slight frown. Concern. I see his Adam’s apple bob up and down.
And all the rage dissipates. Fuck. He’s shaken at this half-cooked love confession. The look on his face tells me I’ve got more to do if I have any chance of salvaging this. And there is a small chance, because he hasn’t kicked me out of here yet.
“Xander, I’ve been a complete fucking dumbass,” I say, walking my way around the boardroom table.
“Not going to argue with you.”
“Not only am I in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for eleven years, I’ve just been too scared toletmyself be in lovewith you,” I say, coming around the oval table. There are now only five steps between us, and I hesitate.
“My one-night-only rule was a neat little party trick I used to protect my heart, but I kept it up for eleven years to keep every other guy at a distance because my heart belonged to you. Belongs to you,” I go on, making it clear this isn’t a thing of the past. This is now. “It always has.”
He turns so he’s facing me.
“I fell in love with you the moment you walked up to me at the quad,” I say. I test the waters and take a step closer to him. He doesn’t move.
“I’ve been in love with you from the moment we kissed,” I say, taking another step closer. “I’ve been in love with from you the moment I commando crawled out of your place. I’m in love with you, Xander,” I say. It’s time for the grand finale here. Go big or go home. “I’m pretty sure I’ll be in love with you forever.” I’m now standing right in front of him.
Our breath mingles. I let my arms reach up and around his neck.
