Oh gods, he knew.
Lothar took a step toward me again, and I shook my head.
Warrick planted a hand on his chest. “You need to keep walking,” he growled low.
Every vein and tendon visible strained as Lothar fought with himself.
“Go,” I mouthed.
“Fucking move, before Sera sees you,” War snarled.
Lothar let War shove him out the door, but the look on his face broke me in two. Our love story was a tragedy, not some beautiful romance where we’d walk into the sunset hand in hand, and it was as impossible now as it was then. We’d hurt each other too deeply, there had been too many lies, too much pain. We’d incinerated any chance of a happy ending.
There was no time to think after that, because the demons outside the cottage had moved to the windows, realizing I was here alone. I stood, gripping the knife that had once been mine, that had been covered in Lothar’s blood the last time I held it. At least the chains were long enough for a little movement, not much, but enough.
The door burst open and the biggest demon walked in. “Daddy’s home,” he boomed and bared his pointed teeth.
Lothar
I had to fight not to throw up as memories flooded back.
They were still hazy, but I knew we’d been in love. Roxy and me. We’d loved each other. Nights with her in my arms spilled into my mind, kissing, touching, whispered words in the darkness. Planning a future together, being forced to resist the urge to mate in truth, because Lucifer insisted that we wait.
We’d obeyed, like the loyal soldiers we were.
Handmaids weren’t meant to have mates, but fate had overridden Lucifer and he’d been furious.
The memories around what happened right before it all went wrong were still jumbled, pieces missing. Lucifer had asked me to “charm” Sera, that if I got her to tell me what she had on him, he’d finally let us mate in truth. He’d convinced me that I wasn’t being unfaithful because we weren’t mated yet. He’d said that Roxy would understand, that she had seduced many people for him over the years, that it was for the good of Hell and would ensure his throne, that it was for the good of my brothers, but more importantly, it would ensure that Roxy would remain safe.
I didn’t remember the details, but I did know that I did it. I did what Lucifer wanted.
I rubbed at my chest, phantom pain slicing through me as if it were happening now, not centuries ago.
Roxy hadn’t done anything to me.
I was the one.
I’d done this to us.
I’d been too weak to tell Lucifer to shove his assignment up his ass, to ignore his orders and make Roxy my mate. I was the one who’d ruined everything.
“Loth?” War said quietly. “What’s going on?”
The sun had gone down, and we were in a van. Relic was driving. Sera was beside him up front. Beelzebub took up the seat behind them, while War and I sat in the far back. I shoved my fingers through my hair. “Do you remember me and Rox together?”
War frowned. “No.” Then his brows shot up like a fucking light went on.
“You remember something?”
His gaze sliced to Sera and his brows shot up. “What the fuck?” He shook his head, confusion all over his face. “I do.” Hatred filled his eyes. “How? What the fuck is going on? How did I not remember until now?”
“I’m assuming whatever block Lucifer had in place has broken. He took my memories of me and Rox, but not just from me, from everyone who knew what we’d been to each other.” I swallowed, my throat dry as hell. “The specifics are blurry still, but I remember enough.”
He cursed. “Why did he do it? What happened?”
“I betrayed her, War, in the worst way.”
“Fuck,” War muttered.
