“Relic.”
The frozen organ in my chest burst back into action. “I told you?—”
“I don’t buy that bullshit. You protected and loved my pup as if he were your own, Rox. I fucking saw it with my own eyes. I wasn’t able to give him what War does Violet, and what Dirk does Brick. I couldn’t give Relic what my brothers can give their pups, something that took me seeing them as fathers to realize the importance of. I wished I could’ve loved him then, that I could love him now. You gave him that, what he needed, what I couldn’t. You showed him love, and yeah, maybe the other handmaids helped out occasionally, but not like you. You were the constant he needed, that I now know all pups need. So yeah, even as emotionally devoid as I am, I know that, I understand that. You made him the good, loving male, the devoted mate he is now, and I will forever be thankful to you for it.”
Why was he saying all of this now? I couldn’t take it. “I love pups. It wasn’t about you, it was about me,” I said, curling my fingers into tight fists, though that was a lie, wasn’t it? Deep in my heart, I’d thought of Relic as mine. I’d wanted him to be mine. The pup Lothar and I would never have together.
“Either way, I’m eternally in your debt.”
That’s all I needed. “You owe me nothing,” I said and started down the wide stone hall. The sound of his heavy boots following me, echoed off the walls. I stopped. “Are you following me?”
He shrugged a big shoulder again. “Yeah, but not intentionally. This is the way back to the main room.”
I huffed, turned, and marched ahead. And bit my lip as every thud of those big boots seemed to slam through me. What the hell was I doing? Every time I told myself to act normal, to rein the emotion back in, I lost my shit even more. I couldn’t believe what I’d just said to him back there.
This wasn’t me. I felt as if I’d been possessed by some unstable imposter, and as hard as I tried, I couldn’t exorcise the demented, demonic bitch.
Chapter
Seven
Lothar
* * *
I was created in Hell, spent centuries there before we ever came aboveground, but as we stepped through the gateway and onto a Roxburgh pavement, something inside me shifted, spreading through me, and although I had limited emotions, Lucifer had made sure we understood them, and I was positive what I was experiencing was relief. But why?
Roxy and Ursula strode ahead, while I trailed behind them on my own, since Maddox had ordered Gus to stay in Hell, much to the pup’s disappointment. Tonight, we would part ways with Urs as well, and it’d be just me and Rox. Lucifer had assigned Urs a mission of her own, and she’d been told to come to some bar in the city for further instructions. Apparently, we were tagging along before we headed to our next destination, one Roxy hadn’t filled me in on yet. She was leading this search, and all I could do was follow.
Right now, that was all she was letting me do.
My gaze slid over the petite handmaid striding along in front of me, and I rubbed at my chest. There was a strange sensation behind my ribs, and this one I wasn’t able to identify, no matter how hard I tried.
Something was seriously off, and like this constant sensation in my chest, I couldn’t name it. All I knew was I’d felt this way since I stepped through the gateway into Hell to meet with Rox a couple days ago, but most worrying of all? The beast that all hounds carried inside them, our animal side, had been stirring restlessly inside me, in a way that didn’t make sense, and absolutely everything about that concerned the fuck out of me.
But even more confusing? The beast was like a fucking pointer dog, nose aimed right at Roxy.
I didn’t get it. All I knew was the female had me all fucked up. It was starting to feel like I had split personalities—the beast was all about her, wanted to protect her, be near her, while I continued to struggle with the sensation of wrongness whenever she was close for too long. My dick got hard around her, even while her scent filled me with a sense of dread, and with every inhale, the urge to get the fuck away from her increased—but as soon as I put space between us, the beast tried to take me back to her.
I’d known Roxy for centuries. Why was I feeling these things now?
Urs pushed open the door to a dive bar, and we walked in.
I scanned the room. It wasn’t full, not yet anyway, but there were several other handmaids here, and they rushed over to Ursula and Roxy when we walked in. Since I had no idea how long we’d be here, I got a beer and took a seat at one of the tables.
As the night went on, more handmaids arrived, and I watched them dance, do a fuck ton of shots, sing karaoke, and on more than one occasion throw hands when someone pissed them off. Shit was getting rowdy, and Rox and Urs were right in the middle of it. When these females cut loose, everyone needed to stand the fuck back and leave them to it.
The seat beside me scraped as it was pulled out, and I turned as Silas dropped into it.
“Lothar,” he said, his silver eyes hitting mine.
I hadn’t seen the fallen angel in a while. He spent most of his time with the knights of Hell. “What brings you here, brother?”
Silas had been punished, his wings taken from him a few years ago, and right now he looked wary as fuck. The big male shoved his fingers through his gold-and-black-streaked hair, crossed his heavily tattooed arms over his chest and jerked his head toward Ursula. “I wish I could say pleasure, but I have a feeling the next few weeks are going to be far from that.”
Urs had said someone would be here with further instructions for the mission Lucifer was sending her on. Looked like that someone was Silas.
The chair beside Silas slid out and Zenon, a knight of Hell, and Lucifer’s grandson, sat. He put his beer on the table in front of him and slid one to Silas. He gave me a chin lift. “Loth.”
