The full force of the loss we’d suffered crashed over me, a jagged ball of agony settling like stone in my chest. All this time, since my memories were taken, I’d been pushing her away. I always pulled away first when she’d hugged me. I’d avoided her, turned her down when she just wanted to hang out. Fuck, I couldn’t believe she wanted to be anywhere near me, let alone hug me after what I’d done. I couldn’t fucking bear to think about it. My female had been pining for me, for her male, a pathetic fucking male who had betrayed her, and I’d shoved her aside, over and over again.
I would not wait another moment to look for her. Not one more fucking second. I shoved back the covers and was relieved when there was no shooting pain through my legs and back. Finally. I snatched my phone off the bedside table and checked the time. Motherfucker. I’d slept twenty-four hours. I’d have been pissed, if it hadn’t actually worked.
I felt rested and my body was finally and completely healed. Showering quickly, I dressed, shoved my phone in my pocket, and strode from my room.
“Whoa, where do you think you’re going?” Willow said, walking toward me.
“To find my mate,” I said, with a little more growl than I intended.
She stopped in front of me, her eyes narrowing. “You look a lot better this morning.”
“I am.”
She curled her fingers around my forearm. “Glad to hear it.”
“Thank you for taking care of me. I know I didn’t make it easy,” I said, because I wasn’t sure how long I’d be away, and Willow had put up with me, hadn’t given up on me when I acted like a giant asshole.
“That’s what family’s for, right?” She pulled me in for a tight hug, and when she stepped back, she smiled up at me. “Now go find Roxy and bring her home.”
I nodded and strode up the stairs, through the clubhouse, and headed for my bike.
“Loth!”
I turned to find Relic jogging toward me.
“Good to see you on your feet,” he said when he reached me. “Don’t think you’re going to have to walk far on those newly healed legs, though. Pretty sure I know where Roxy is.”
Chapter
Thirty-Two
Roxy
* * *
“How are you feeling today?” Eve said as she walked into my room. Lysander held her hand, toddling along beside her, and Revere clung to his tiny hand. They were cousins, less than a year apart, but behaved and looked more like twins.
Kyler followed, carrying a tray laden with food. “You need to eat.”
I hadn’t meant to stay here. After I ran from the battleground, I’d come here to say goodbye to my girls, but they’d seen how upset I was and convinced me to stay. They’d tended my wounds, fed me, loved me. Eve’s mate, Lazarus, had even made me a leather guard for my hand, since the stumps where my fingers had once been were still sensitive. At least my fingernails had grown back and my scar had returned to how it was before Sera escaped. I was counting that as a win.
I crouched down. “Hello, my babies.”
Ly and Rev ran to me, giggling and squealing. I scooped them up and smothered them in kisses. “You make your lovey so happy,” I said, giving them more kisses.
“I’ll never get used to that,” Ky said. “You don’t look old enough to be anyone’s grandmother.”
We looked the same age, and we all had the same black hair and blue eyes. We could be sisters, if it wasn’t for the centuries that separated us. “Yes, my darlings, you are stunning, and you can thank me for that,” I said and grinned.
Eve smiled, but her eyes were gentle, concerned. “Relic’s been calling the compound. Zenon lied and said he hadn’t seen you, but I think he suspects something.”
I rested a chubby toddler on each hip and went to the window, looking out. “What about Lothar? Has he called?” If he’d called me, I wouldn’t know. I’d blocked his number the night I ran, like a coward, afraid of what he’d have to say.
“Nothing yet,” Ky said. “He’s still healing, according to Relic, but I’m sure he will?—”
“He won’t.” I needed to leave. I had to stop waiting, hoping that he’d change his mind. Of course he wouldn’t. He’d never forgive me for letting Lucifer steal his memories, from stealing our connection the way I did, and I didn’t blame him for that. I turned back. “I don’t want to cause trouble for Zenon, or for your mates. I don’t want anyone to have to lie for me. I’m behaving like a coward.” I pressed a kiss to Ly’s forehead, then to Rev’s. “I love you both very much, my sweet babies, don’t ever forget that,” I said to them, then put them down.
“You don’t need to leave,” Eve said, reading me easily. “Please, stay a little longer.”
