Cody bites his bottom lip, then nods. “I think this is something where I’ll defer to the Sinners’ decision, but I’ll be open to hearing what the Saints have to say if and when we decide that’s necessary.”
Preston’s gaze wavers as he studies the expressions of the rest of the Saints. “I can accept that, as long as you discuss it with us first, so if Kysar tries to do what Syphor did to us, we can be ready for it and stop him.”
With that settled, Brad leads the discussion about how meetings will proceed from this point forward, the training that will be expected of everyone. I’m waiting for them to say something specifically about me, but nothing comes. So when Brad solicits questions at the end, I pipe up. “What about me? You all already know how to use these powers, andI’ve never done anything before. Are we sure I’ll even be able to?”
“Don’t worry, man,” Luke says. “I was like that last semester. I’ll walk you through those early sessions. We’ll try to figure out how your powers manifest.”
“Yeah,” Cody adds. “It seems like something from that first ritual with Alexei activated your powers. And it could also be that, like with Luke and Brad, somehow your powers play off each other’s. You could be stronger when you work together. But we’re not gonna make you sort all that out on your own. And it’ll be better to work out as a group.”
That makes me feel more at ease, but there’s a part of me wondering what the fuck I’m signing up for. I’ve got work and classes. Shouldn’t I say fuck no? Although, if it’s true something’s coming, could I really leave it for these guys to handle on their own?
I already know the answer, but there are some questions I’m still left hanging about—one in particular I’m determined to push for an answer. So after the meeting adjourns, I pull Cody aside. There’s hesitation in his expression, like he already knows what I’m gonna ask about.
“With everything we had going on,” I say, “I didn’t want to push you, but now that things have calmed down, I wanted to ask you about that day—”
“When you jumped into Finnegan that first time?” he says, confirming he knows exactly what I want to discuss.
“You were looking at me like you were afraid of me.”
“I know it might be hard to believe, but I can’t remember.”
I glare at him. “Come on. I thought we were opening up to each other.”
“I’m not hiding anything from you, Matteo. It was like I had a vision, and when I came to, the memory of it was gone, but I still had this visceral reaction to you. It was…haunting, and I didn’t know what to make of it.”
“You were looking at me like I’d tried to kill you.”
“It was a frightening feeling,” he admits. “Like terror and horror, but I don’t know that I was afraid of you or something that was gonna happen to you. When I was trying to reach you telepathically at Alpha Alpha Mu, I had a horrible feeling that was the moment I had a vision about. That something terrible would happen when I put you inside Finnegan’s body with that thing.”
“I don’t feel like I would have mistaken that look for you being concerned about me,” I say, as I can’t help thinking about it frozen on my mother’s face.
Cody’s expression twists up. “The best I can make out is that I might have seen that moment in the basement and was terrified we were all going to die, and somehow I linked that to you because you were the only one who could save us in that moment.”
There’s some logic to it, but it’s not satisfying. Then again, since this shit came into my life, nothing about it has been all that satisfying.
But it’s the best we can do today. I accept that and rejoin Alexei. We head out with the gang together, splitting up—the Saints returning to the frat, the Sinners to the dorms.
I wait until we get back to the room to tell Alexei aboutmy chat with Cody.
“He doesn’t have any reason to lie to you,” Alexei says.
“I know. It just doesn’t sit right.”
I rest my ass against the edge of his desk, considering all this. Alexei approaches, taking my hand and stroking his thumb against the back.
“Well, I think disappointment was the theme of the day,” he says. “Did you see how Luke and Cody reacted when Preston shut down the possibility of connecting with Kysar?”
“I can’t blame them after what they went through. And I think I’m on the same page. I know Kysar saved you last semester, so…I don’t know. It’s like, why fuck with it? But then if Kysar and Syphor both knew something’s coming, we do have to do something. And then I’m supposed to be studying for a Hydraulics test too?”
That gets Alexei chuckling. “At least you haven’t lost your sense of humor.”
I lean close and take a kiss, relaxing into the warm sensation it stirs in my chest. A reminder that as shitty as some of this stuff is, this isn’t shitty at all.
He grabs my shoulders and pulls me back until we’re making out against the wall by his desk. I’m all licks and kisses at his neck before I lean back slightly, pressing my body firmly against his, our chests and torsos tight against each other. He studies my expression, but not in the sex-crazed way I’m used to. There’s something else there, and I love knowing him well enough to pick up on it.
“What is it?”
He smirks like he’s pleased I’m good at reading him too.
