I turn my attention to Cody, who lies limp on the bar.“Come on, Cody. I’m here. Help me. You have to be here. Take me back. Get me back in there.”
Alexei’s choking sounds become more strained. I thrash about in vain, trying to cry out, even just fucking plead with Syphor, but it’s no use.
I can hear Alexei’s strength fading. He won’t last much longer.
Syphor approaches the bar once again, leaning over Cody, moving in for a kiss, reminding me of how Farras took me.
“Come the fuck on, Cody. Get me in there!”
Nothing.
Cody’s out.
I’m on my own.
I close my eyes, and Spencer’s hand can’t block my war cry in one last desperate attempt to will myself back into him, straining with all my being as I twist and jerk about. I can hear Seth doing the same as he attempts to curse from under his gag.
A sound worse than the gagging hits my ear, a faint strain of a breath that warns the end is near.
I howl out with everything in my being, out of sheer desperation, begging the universe to give me a way to end his agony—and then everything goes black again.
I’m hopeful, but a part of me fears I may just be passing out from the stress of the moment. I’m relieved when my eyes open and I see Cody’s face beneath me.
I did it! I fucking did it!
I’m acting off sheer instinct, knowing Alexei doesn’t have much time, as I turn to Preston, snatch him by his shirt collar, and hurl him against the wall.
“You shit!”Syphor cries out, battling for control over this body once again.“It’s mine! It’s mine!”
I cling to the bar, like I’m trying to cling to this body, crying out in agony when I finally hear Seth’s voice, “Everyone fucking freeze! No one move!”
Alexei must’ve fallen and gotten Seth’s gag off. Yes! Fucking yes!
I can’t revel in our victory just yet, though. Finnegan’s body is stiff. I’ve lost control over it, but so has Syphor. For now. Our battle isn’t over.
“Get out!”I shout at Syphor.
“No!”
It shouts louder, but I notice it hasn’t pushed me back into my body yet.
Farras’s words to Cody come back to me:“Pain. Excruciating pain. Make it unbearable for me to stay in it.”
With pleasure.
Once again, like when I first entered Syphor, I can feel his fear. There’s a searing pain in him that I feel guided to, eager to explore. And that’s when it hits me—as long as our minds are one, my pain is his pain.
“What are you doing?”Syphor asks.
I ignore the question, concentrating on this steadily intensifying pain before sensations come racing through me. Like razors burning into my flesh. I dig into my own pain and trauma, of the haunting moment with my mom, the rageI’ve experienced when thinking about my father, letting it expand and intensify the fury I feel in my soul. Syphor shakes as my pain leads to a visceral reaction.
But it’s not without consequence. It’s a double-edged sword, tearing as much into my soul, this haunting pain, one that feels like it could end me if I stare at it too long. I let the agony take over until I hear Syphor crying out.
Though it has no form, I sense it thrashing about in this psychological space we share. My pain makes me acutely aware of his, this terror I’m able to enflame with my own, stinging to the point where I think I can’t bear it, and then I keep going even more.
“You, get out!”I command, and it’s like a fucking bomb goes off before everything goes dark again.
When I open my eyes, Alexei is on his knees in front of me. “Matteo, please. Come on. Come on, man.”
