“You wouldn’t think that if you knew the vile thoughts I’ve had.”
He’s still refusing to look me in the eyes. And I can’t stand it.
“Look at me, Matteo. Please. Just look at me.”
He struggles before finally turning, his gaze locking on mine.
“I wish I could show you what I see when I look at you. How beautiful you are. I see someone kind, who was willing to put aside his own shit and his well-being to try and help a guy he barely knew because he thought he was in a cult. And you could have let me go off and find some random stranger to do that spell with, but you were more concerned about my safety than your own body or how fucking weird that shit was. I see a guy who’s still putting himself at risk for a causehe barely understands because he cares about people. Those aren’t the actions of a bad guy.”
“I wish I could see what you see,” he says as another tear falls.
I raise my free hand to his face, wipe the tear from his cheek, and he leans into my touch before taking my hand and kissing my palm. It’s a soft, gentle kiss, the kind he might place on my mouth. He relaxes into it before moving swiftly, taking my mouth, his tongue sliding in effortlessly. He pushes me up against the wall, one hand gliding under the hem of my shirt, running up my abdomen. My body’s alive with sensation, my cock pulsing in my pants. His lips only part from mine so he can kiss down to my neck, and I roll my head back, thread my fingers through his hair.
“It’s not just that shit that makes me know I’m a monster,” he whispers into my flesh before tugging at it with his teeth. “When I think about anything happening to you, anyone hurting you, it’s hot, searing rage. When I thought the Saints were brainwashing you, I wanted to fucking end them. And every day I get to know you more, I just know that I would do terrible things to keep you safe.”
I’ve felt so alone ever since I lost Nick, but this past year, isolated with my secrets and lies, has been the worst. It’s nice knowing someone has my back now.
No. It’s nice knowingMatteohas my back.
His hot breath slams against my skin, leaving me reeling, before he nuzzles against me. “I keep wondering what you’re doing to me, Alexei, and then I’m just like, fuck it, I don’t even care as long as you let me touch you like this.”
His mouth is back against my throat in no time. With his free hand, he grips my crotch, stroking, and a moan pushes past my lips.
He spins me around to face the wall, and I go willingly as his hips shove against mine, his lips and tongue wild against the back of my neck as he thrusts.
“I want to fuck you right here, like an animal. Just get out all this pain and frustration on your ass like we did last week in your room.”
Desire surges through me. “I want it too,” I confess. Right now, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted to me.
He thrusts again, and as I start to turn back to him, I see Seth heading our way.
“Oh fuck,” I say. I spin toward Matteo, and he looks caught off guard, so out of it, like right after he got out of that fucked-up state he was in earlier. As though he was so caught up in our passion, he’d forgotten about the real world happening around us.
“Seth,” I say, so he’ll understand why I stopped.
“Well, well, well,” Seth says, grinning broadly. “Guess you left out some important details.”
“We—” Matteo starts, but Seth raises his hands. “Hey, it’s none of my business. Let’s get back to the dorms and grab your things.”
21
MATTEO
After getting ourthings together, Seth escorts us to the old bottle factory.
Everything’s moving so fast, I can hardly keep up. One minute I thought Alexei was stealing from Gage. Then I discovered magic was real. That I could be attracted to men. Then I was possessed by a serial killer. And to top it all off, I had visions of being inside Finnegan’s body, and Cody is acting like I might wind up being a psychopath. I don’t know what to focus on first, but seems like the only thing to do is keep pushing ahead and try to survive whatever the hell comes next.
“Look at this little make-out pad,” Seth observes as we arrive at the office Alexei fixed up for the rituals we were supposed to perform to find out what happened to his brother.
“Yeah.” Alexei glances around uncomfortably as he sets his bag on a chair.
I’m waiting for Seth to pry, but instead, he asks, “Malcom reply to your text yet?”
Not for the first time, Alexei retrieves his phone from hisback pocket and checks. “No, but he’s still got five before he gets off work.”
“Okay, then I’ll go ahead and set up the circle of protection here in case we have uninvited guests. The other guys should be here in maybe half an hour, after they get their things and food.” During their chat in the church, they agreed they would camp out with us until this evening.
Seth sets up the circle of protection, spreading salt around the edges of the room. Once he’s finished, he settles into a similar position as Cody was in the pentagram, bowing like he’s about to pray. Gripping his necklace, he chants.
