Tonight, I should be strutting in a sexy costume, grabbing a couple of condoms, and heading over to Alpha Alpha Mu’s party to find a girl who’s as eager to have fun as I am. Instead, I’ll be heading out to meet Alexei somewhere I can fuck him.
Alexei: Preston said no…
Alexei: You sure about this?
When I received his texts last week, I didn’t hesitate:I’m certain.
Only now that I’m about to commit to something neither of us can ever take back, I’m not feelingcertainabout anything.
Alexei told me he’d get things set up and asked if Friday would work for me. Kind of wished we could have just gotten it over with, but the instructions require him to get a few things together for the ritual. In the meantime, we’ve seen each other in the dorms and around campus, and kept our cool. Acted as though everything’s totally normal and like I haven’t been thinking about fucking him all week.
Obsessing about it, even as I FaceTime with my mother.
“You haven’t been sleeping enough, have you?” she says, inspecting my face.
It would’ve been better not to call, but it’s been a while since I’ve seen or talked to them. I miss them, and I needed to see them, if only to hold on to what it felt like before I started stressing about Alexei.
Before I discovered magic was real.
“Just a lot of studying,” I lie.
If anything, I need to be getting my ass together and make sure to get work done so that this stuff with Alexei doesn’t interfere with the rest of my life any more than it already has.
“Hey, mister,” Dad says as he slides into frame, pulling a stern expression like he might have when I misbehaved as a kid. “You haven’t been returning our calls the past few weeks. I know you’re busy, but that’s no excuse.”
I feel like shit for doing that to them. My parents are the best, and they don’t deserve me going MIA. It’s just…I’ve had so much to think about. Alexei has turned my world upside down, and I sure as hell couldn’t have chatted with them earlier in the week, when I probably looked like I was having a nervous breakdown.
“I’ll do better. What’s going on with you two?”
Dad gets into some of the drama at the school where he teaches, and Mom tells me about what she’s been dealing with at her law firm before switching topics to the new shed in the yard, their project for the past three months.
“I need to get over there and give you a hand,” I tease.
“We’re doing just fine with it,” Dad insists, “thank you very much.”
I laugh before checking the time on my phone.
Can’t believe it’s almost time to meet up with Alexei. Guess that’s what I get for calling them right before; although, I knew it would be a good excuse if they started asking too many questions.
“Did someone special just text?” Mom asks, angling her head and sporting a mischievous expression. “Think I didn’t notice the way your gaze drifted?”
She’s all suspicion, but I’m glad that despite her intuiting something, she couldn’t possibly guess what it is. “I’m about to head out to a party, that’s all.” I wish that’s all I was doing tonight… “Just gotta get my costume on.”
Mom pouts. “Okay, honey. Just keep us in the loop. At least text.”
“I will, I will,” I say, sounding annoyed, but really, appreciating how much they care. As far as parents go, I was lucky to have been chosen by two of the best people I know.
“And get some sleep,” she says in that affectionate way she has.
“Yeah, you’re not gonna attract all the girls with that mug if you don’t get some rest,” Dad teases.
I roll my eyes. “Whatever. Good night.”
“Night,” Dad says, and Mom calls out, “Have fun.”
If she knew what the past few weeks had been like, she’d know thatfunisn’t in the cards for me. Not right now.
I approach my desk, assessing the sildenafil I got from some online doc. One would think that taking this would beabout having fun, but not for me apparently. It’s twenty minutes until Alexei is supposed to come pick me up, and based on what he’s said about where we’re going, that’ll take fifteen minutes to get to, which should be enough time for this to kick in.
