“Best man I ever knew,” he added. “Taught me computers, how to fight…how to be a decent person.” That last one seemed to be the most important to him, and he settled on it for a moment before adding, “When all this went down, he wasn’t someone I thought would have wound up getting dragged into it. He didn’t deserve to die like that. Not that Jamie did, but just… I’ve seen a lot of fucked-up shit in my life, but that one hit home in a way nothing else could.”
I thought about that kid who had been preyed upon by the bastard Ira, the guy who had taken him in as a prostitute, and then Spencer, the man who had rescued him from that fate. For that alone, I had reverence for him.
“I’ll be fine.”
I rested my hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay not to be fine, Liam. It’s okay to be sad.”
He shook his head. “There’s time to be sad later.” He clenched his jaw, gulping. He hesitated for a moment before saying, “It’s kind of terrible that, as bad as this is, and how shitty it is for you, I like having you here.”
“I like being here.”
Something within me told me I was wrong. That the weight of all that was happening would eventually catch up with me, make me understand the totality of the consequences of everything that was happening, but in that moment, still unable to fully grasp it all, any excuse, even a fucked-up one, was good enough if it kept me near him.
He rested his hand against the side of my face, and I relaxed into his palm the way I enjoyed doing.
“I’ll be right back with tools to fix the window,” he said, his thumb offering that familiar caress.
As chaotic as everything was, something as simple as his touch calmed me in a way that I doubted his words would ever be able to. I could feel his strength, his compassion, and there were other things in that touch for which words couldn’t quite qualify…as though it were some secret language that could only be used to describe the sort of awareness I came to as he held his hand to my face.
“Thank you, Liam.”
It wasn’t right how empty I felt when just the door and a few yards kept us apart, especially knowing he’d be right back. But he was going to go back downstairs with them, and I’d enjoyed falling asleep with him beside me…likely more than I should have.
He must’ve thought my feelings were childish. I spent so long confused and uncertain, and now, with my absolute acceptance of what I felt for Liam, it was like a valve had been opened and a torrent of emotion escaped, so powerful, I wasn’t entirely sure what to do with it. There was something painful about it all, but it was a sort of pain I was willing to endure.
He fixed the window and then left once again.
With that came a sleepless state that lasted throughout hearing them chatter downstairs.
My mind went wild with the possibilities. What would happen once they found out who was responsible for the attack? Would they leave me at the cabin and go off without me to take care of things?
I didn’t want Liam to leave me, no.
However, as fixed as my thoughts were on the present issue, I also had the matter of my actual life—my work, my family, my friends. All those things I had been yanked away from.
How would this affect the life I held so dear?
All the confusion settled upon Liam’s return, when he lay next to me. Through the window, I could tell the sky was shifting from black to a dark-blue shade, leaving me without any desire to ask about time to see how much sleep I’d missed out on.
He stripped down, his bare chest exposed because he’d only pulled the covers up halfway, and I enjoyed the view as he scooted a little closer.
That was where he belonged.
Right next to me.
“Guess I should have known sleep wasn’t going to be easy for you,” he said.
“I doubt it’ll be easy for you either.”
“I thought the only way I could get the others to get some rest was if I pretended to get some shut-eye. Mick’s keeping the first watch, and then we’ll be alternating. At least you’re off the hook.”
“I’m fine with watching.”
“This is what we do, Ty. Let us keep you safe.”
It wasn’t likely any of them would feel very safe with me keeping guard, but still, I wanted to help. I just didn’t know how I could.
Liam rolled toward me, and I mirrored the movement so we were lying on our sides, facing one another.
