“I just got a little jumpy. Sam surprised me.”
“Yeah, you’ve been a little jumpier these days than you used to.”
I could see in my father’s eyes his desire to understand what had caused me to react the way I had. It was that kind of concern that told me what I’d needed to know for so much of my life—that he really did love me. Sometimes I had to remind myself that had he known he had a son on the other side of the country, he would have been there for me as a kid. And if we’d found a way to bridge this gap sooner and I hadn’t spent so much of my life pushing, he could have been there for me the way he’d been the past year.
Although, as much as we had shared, we were back to having boundaries again. A part of me wished I could have shared with him all those things that were on my mind—everything that had transpired since Liam and I were attacked in that side street in Chicago. It wasn’t just the darker side that I wanted to share with him, but everything I’d experienced with my boyfriend since it all began, all those pieces that had been weaved together with the bad shit too. That made it all worth it.
Seemed like just as soon as I’d come out to everyone, I had a whole new reason to hold part of me back from them. I wasn’t the same man who’d woken up in Himeros’s torture chamber. No. I was forever changed by that experience—haunted by it. But that wasn’t something Eric could ever know.
“I’m fine,” I lied. “Just work stuff.”
I’d passed the CPA exam and finished all my requisite hours for the State of Georgia, which came with a job offer from my old company. Cushy salary and benefits. Same stresses, different package. Still, it all seemed trivial in comparison to the world I was now all too vividly aware of.
“Well, if you do need to talk, I’m here,” Eric said. “As proud as I am of that play, I’m much prouder of everything you’ve accomplished the past few months, and even prouder of the man you’ve become. And I’m glad you’re happy with Liam.”
Maybe he thought I needed the assurance. And maybe I did, but regardless of why he said it, I appreciated the validation he was so willing to offer, something that at one time always seemed to elude me.
“Thanks, Dad. I love you.”
Since I’d survived Himeros’s sadistic game,I love yousweren’t something I held back. Not from Liam, Eric, Jesse, Mom, Sam, or Kelly. What reason could I have for leaving any of them wondering how much I cared about them? How much they meant to me.
“I love you too, Ty.”
Eric and I hugged before Jesse returned, pulling himself into the hug and joking, “Not gonna let you guys leave me out of this now.” Then Liam piled on, and we all had a good laugh before Liam and I headed over to Mom’s for dinner.
By the time we got there, she’d already set out the Chinese food on the dining-room table. We ate with chopsticks, the way she and I had when I was a kid.
Mom was a terrible cook, so growing up, this was a common dinner for us. And enjoying it with her as an adult was just as great. Like with Eric, I could see in the way she looked at me that she could tell, as she had been able to when I was in that cabin with Liam, that something wasoff.
In the same way that I could communicate with Liam without words, I could with her too, but she must’ve felt me trying to psychically block her from the horrifying part of my life she could never know about, a part I would have to take to the grave with me.
It’d only been a week since we’d both met with her for dinner, but there was plenty to talk about.
“Yeah, he’s a good kid,” Liam said as he talked to Mom about a teen he’d been working with while volunteering in a community outreach program for the shelter—an opportunity Jesse had found for him. “He got into some trouble when he was eleven. Picked on by a lot of kids, abusive family. Has a hard time chatting people up, but he’s starting to open up.”
I’d noticed him take a particular interest in the guy, and I knew why. If anyone understood what a quiet kid like that was going through, it was Liam. And I was pleased to see him using his retirement to help people.
“You know, if you get a chance, we could use some help at the center,” Mom suggested. It was the first time she’d said that, and I knew it was another step for her. It couldn’t have been easy for her, because in some way, I could tell she feared losing me to someone else. However, it was clear the more time she spent with us, the more she saw what everyone in the whole goddamn world could tell.
I was never so happy as when Liam was in my life.
What darkness Liam had brought into my world, he’d made up for through an endless supply of light that showered every part of my existence.
“You can wait until you come back from your RV trip,” Mom added, which made me laugh. I didn’t even really know why.
“Why are you laughing?” Liam asked me. “It was your idea.”
“Well, it was your dream, and my suggestion to spend some time doing it. But I was laughing because I never imagined that would be my idea of a good time.”
“You don’t think you’ll like it?”
“No, I don’t. IknowI will.”
He beamed, reminding me of the power I had over his happiness, just as he had total power over mine.
It was so interesting how the months had raced by, feeling like a few days; whereas the days we’d shared in Liam’s cabin had seemed to stretch on like months—at least as I reflected back on them.
Those amazing days where we grew together, got to know one another.
