“How are you feeling?”
“Fine.”
“Fine enough for me to yell at you?” His expression shifted from the gentle affection he’d offered to something sterner.
“Not that fine,” I lied as I sat up so I was eye level with him. “Did you get the intel you needed from Blackmore? Who the mole was and everything?”
My effort to shift the subject appeared to work. His gaze drifted, his jaw tensed. “Yup, we did. He was tough to crack at first, but Tara… Let’s just say she managed to get him to squeal…and I do mean squeal. Apparently, Junior found a contact willing to sell him intel, who then did just that. Only had the names we knew about, but we’ll be taking him into headquarters for further questioning. With the video of the confession, it’ll be enough to get the IPB to crack down on the clan and find out if anyone else was involved.” He hesitated, like he was struggling with something, before he went on, “Ty, what were you doing back there?”
“Trying to help. That guy was kicking the shit outta you.”
“He took me by surprise, but his wrists were tied together. You really think I wouldn’t have been able to take him down?”
“Clearly,youdid,” I said, disappointed I had been about as helpful there as I had been the night those guys had jumped us outside Sidetrack. “I wasn’t going to sit there and let some asshole hurt you, Liam.”
“I’m a little more durable than that, Ty.”
“You would have done the exact same thing, so don’t judge me.” Surely, he could understand that. Although, the fact that he didn’t, led me to suspect this wasn’t just about what had happened when I got my ass handed to me. “This isn’t by any chance about the stuff I was doing before, is it?” I asked, more than a little suspicious.
His brows pulled together. “What?”
“You seemed kinda weird after that Lez stuff.”
“I understood what that was.”
I glared at him, and he took a breath. “Okay. I was, admittedly, a little on edge. Upset about the way that guy was handling you, and maybe even a little jealous,” he said, almost under his breath, as if it was difficult for him to admit it. “You kissed him.”
“It didn’t mean anything. That’s usually the first thing you do with somebody.” The moment I said the words, I wished I could have sucked them right back into my mouth. “No, Liam…”
“It’s fine. You’re not wrong. It’s how you feel. I’m just glad you’re okay. Just please, remember that you don’t have training. If I had known you were gonna throw yourself in the middle of a situation like that, I wouldn’t have brought you. That was impulsive and sloppy. You can’t act off passion. Do you think I’ve stayed alive all these years because I act on every whim that pops into my head?”
He was right—I knew he was. However, it didn’t change how I felt, or the fact that I felt justified when he could have been hurt so much worse.
“Something happens to someone, it needs to be me. I’m the one who trained for this. I’m the one who signed up for it. It needs to be my life that’s on the line if there’s ever a life at stake. Do you understand that?”
“No,” I said, which caught him off guard.
“What?”
“I don’t understand why you think your life matters less than mine. I may not have signed up to get jumped in an alley, but I went to that club of my own volition. And I did the same when I tried to help back there. If I choose to risk my life to save your ass, that’s my choice.”
Liam shook his head. “No. It’s not right. You have a family. You have people who care about you. You have a whole life ahead of you. It doesn’t make any goddamn sense.”
“Liam, I think it’s clear we’re not gonna agree on this. But does that really matter? We got the guy.”
He viscerally eased up as he put his arms around me. As resistant as I’d been, the way he held me brought me peace. I held him right back, nestling my face in his chest.
“I’m sorry if I’m being harsh about this,” he spit out. “I don’t think you realize how guilty I would feel if something did happen to you because of me. And this is all because of me. Everything that has happened to you since you’ve known me has been because of the mistakes I made in my life, not the ones you made in yours.” He took another breath before adding, “I’m gonna shower off and then be right back.”
I considered joining him, but the fact that he didn’t offer made me think he wanted some time to reflect. Fortunately, he wasn’t away long, and soon he slid in behind me, drawing me close, into his arms. Despite all the tension and adrenaline that had surged through me just hours earlier, it all subsided as I felt him close to me.
He pressed his face against the side of mine.
I wanted a kiss. Just a little one. Just to help me through everything we’d experienced. He didn’t grant me one, but what we shared in that moment was enough.
I felt a tear on the side of my face and became alert, rolling over to face him. “Liam? What’s wrong?”
His chin quivered, his gaze shifting about as he seemed to grapple with something. “It was Spencer,” he whispered, almost as though he didn’t want to speak the words. “The mole…was Spencer.”
