He pulled back and glanced down at me, his forehead wrinkled. He ran the back of his fingers down my face as he looked at me.
“Am I your boyfriend or not?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No, Ty, you’re not.”
Devastation seared through me. Pain. A sort of helplessness overtook me in an instant, and I could feel the tears stirring.
Oh, goddamn Liam, the emotions he could work up within me, the fucking roller coaster I could experience in a matter of moments.
“I’m sorry, I should have worded that more carefully,” Liam added. “I meant that you can’t be my boyfriend unless we have that conversation. Unless you agree that’s what you want to be to me. I’m not an expert in relationships, but I’ve always assumed that’s how it worked.”
“Yeah, that sounds about right.” My body shook feverishly as I burst into a laugh, relief rippling through me. It reminded me of that night when I thought he didn’t want me, but really just hadn’t wanted to kiss…not yet. It seemed I always feared the worst when it came to him and his feelings for me, some deep insecurity telling me Liam could never really want me.
“But truthfully,” he continued, “I think we need to survive this before we start making those kinds of plans. As far as my feelings for you, as I’ve mentioned, I’m not the kind of guy who lies to himself about how he feels.”
“Who? You?” I said, rolling my eyes.
He grinned. “But if we get out of this, I very much want you to be my boyfriend.”
The promise of what was to come made it hard for me to focus on the contingency.
I kept laughing, almost fucking giggling, feeling like a fucking idiot. “What are you laughing at?” he asked.
“I thought you were rejecting me—like big-time—and then it swung the other way, so it was kind of a surprise.”
“Oh, Ty. Haven’t you figured out by now that I have a hard time rejecting you? Or denying you anything you want, for that matter?”
My face was on fire from blushing, from feeling like Liam had just offered me the best answer ever…and confirmed that I wasn’t losing my mind. That he was following the same path I was in all this.
“So does that make us like pending boyfriends or something?” I asked for clarity.
“Pending boyfriends? I like that. Pending until I can take you on a real date. Deal?”
“That’s a definite deal.”
I was high as fuck at the prospect of getting to go on a date with him.
No, not boyfriends just yet, but that’s where this was all leading, and even the thought of going on a date with Liam… God, nothing could have made me happier. Well, aside from what we were about to share in the bedroom.
“So does my sort-of-boyfriend want to feel my dick in his ass tonight?” Liam asked, leaning back down and taking my earlobe between his lips to offer a subtle nibble.
I wrapped my arms around him and drew him closer to me. “Fuck yes,” I whispered.
I wanted him. All of him.
I was skeptical of what I could physically give, but so hungry for it that I was willing to set all that aside, especially knowing I could entrust myself to Liam. That he would keep me safe.
He pulled closer, touching his nose against mine. His hot breath pushed against my lips, and I opened my mouth to take it into me.
I waited, wondering if it was time. If we’d reached that point.
Oh God, please, I want it so bad.
Yet there was something so exciting about the anticipation, about the desire it stirred, tugged at within me.
He didn’t grant me it in that moment. He moved back and adjusted on the bed, straddling my right leg as he rose to his knees.
Once again, those lips were at a distance.
