Lies, lies, lies.
However, it was for their own good. They would be safer not knowing the truth.
“Okay, just make sure everything is good, and you know, don’t stay in Boystown forever. We want to see you again.”
I could hear the pain in his voice.
It had been a while, and even when I’d talked to him recently, I didn’t divulge a lot, because there was so much going on, I was just trying to keep him from being suspicious. I worried about them, that this would somehow affect their lives. I was glad Liam was able to offer appropriate security for all of them. It helped knowing they were safe.
When we finished our conversation, Jesse said, “We miss you, so get back soon.”
I could hear that my friend wanted to see me, and I wanted to see him too, but I worried about when that would be.
“Miss you too, man.”
My voice trembled as we said our goodbyes.
I called Mom next, struggling just as much throughout the conversation, noticing a few tears sliding down my face in the process. Unlike Jesse and Eric, she didn’t call me out on anything.
“Everything’s just fine” was her life philosophy, even when it was anything but. I wanted to be there for her. She needed me to look after her.
Tears filled my eyes as we hung up.
That was my world. Gone in an instant as I returned to my fucked-up reality.
I headed back up to Liam, to our room, shaken by the conversations, and I must’ve timed it just right because Liam stepped out of the bathroom, fixing his lightened hair with a comb. “Yes? No? New color?”
It was lighter, but still my Liam. And if anything, it reminded me of how silly I was to be so concerned about my own hair.
“Still Liam,” I said, and he smiled, seeming to understand what I meant.
My beautiful, perfect Liam.
His expression shifted as he asked, “Everyone good at home?”
“Yeah, they’re all fine.”
I’m the one who’s a fucking wreck.
“And how about you?”
I fought back the tears. “I’ll be fine, I think.”
His gaze wandered, and I could see his concern for me…maybe even his guilt. I wanted to soothe him, but how could I, when I could hardly make sense of everything that was happening in my fucked-up head?
He approached and put his arms around me.
For a man who seemed so cold and stoic at times, he sure gave a damn good hug, putting his weight into it, making me feel like I could just pull right against him and abandon all my worries.
The tears that had stirred during my conversations with Eric, Jesse, and Mom escaped, moving freely against his flesh.
But I felt safe in his arms.
Once again, being with Liam brought me the peace I so desperately needed to get through all this.
