“I’m sorry if it causes you guys any issues, though. Figure it’s gonna be the talk of Fever Falls for abit.”
“We’ll be just fine,” Nance insisted. “Don’t give a thought tothat.”
“What are you guys talking about?” Keegan asked. “I’m going to be in college next year. I already get made fun of for this gap in my front teeth and because sometimes I forget to wear matching socks.” He looked so serious as he said the words, but then quickly batted his hand in front of him and rolled his eyes. “Come on. You think I give any more shits than you do about what theysay?”
“Keegan, don’t say that word,” Nancechastised.
He sighed like he was exasperated. “Sorry,” hemurmured.
Nance smiled and shook herhead.
She made us sandwiches for lunch, and I chilled around the house through dinner, responding to texts from surprised and concerned friends and a call from Ash and Beau, who gave me a few opportunities to crack jokes about the whole thing. Mads even texted to say,Well, well, Jace Kruse really is the perfect mannow. ;-)
Keegan and I eventually headed out front and shot some hoops for abit.
I found myself continually checking my phone to the point where Keegan asked, “Waiting for your boyfriend totext?”
He was kidding, but it was kind oftrue.
Not that Dax was my boyfriend, but I was hoping he would messageme.
I didn’t know him as well as I wanted to, but I knew enough to know he didn’t open up much. I’d caught him in a moment of vulnerability, where he’d offered up so much about his past…so much he’d clearly wanted to keep from everyone, including me. So many of the missing pieces to the puzzle that was Dax Munro started to fit right into place, make so much fucking sense. Behind all that bravado and charm was a kid terrified of losing his mother. And what he was only willing to cop to slightly—behind those hazel irises was a man who tried to help others navigate the destructive world he’d been thrust into on his own far toosoon.
It reminded me how lucky I was to have a family who loved me. To still have Nance and Keegan…and to know that the incredible man who’d been my father had done everything in his power to be there for me when I needed him. Until it was out of hiscontrol.
Once Keegan and I were winding down, Nance came out and played a game of HORSE with us, after which Keegan went inside. We played another round before she recovered the ball and approached me. I could tell, knew her well enough to know what she was about to bring up. There was an unmistakable expression on her face, and in it I saw our past withCrawford.
“How you feeling?” sheasked.
“Good. Realgood.”
She checked back at the house, as though to make sure we were alone and that Keegan wasn’t about to runout.
“You know your dad would be really proud of you and wouldn’t have ever cared who you love,right?”
“God, Mom. We gotta do this now?” I asked as the tears stirred, the way they tended to when he came up inconversation.
“Of course we gotta do it now. I just know he’d want me to say it for him since hecan’t.”
I never could have doubted how he’d feel. He was too good a man. Kind, loving, compassionate. Most of my beliefs came from his encouraging me to think outside the confines of other people’s ignorance andbiases.
Keeping the basketball under one arm, she reached out her free hand and took mine. “Jace, all either of us have ever wanted is for you to be happy and know you’reloved.”
“Aw, come here.” I hugged her, feeling her trembling, knowing she was reflecting on the love we both missed in that moment. The love that was stolen fromus.
“I know that, and I love you all so much. You guys have my wholeheart.”
We held each other for some time before Nance collected herself and headedinside.
I checked my phone again and saw a message from Dax:What are you doing tonight,Batman?
25
Dax
Istoodon my hotel balcony, overlooking Fever Falls, the midrises, neighboring bars, and homes illuminated with streetlights as the sun finished setting on the horizon. Fever Falls was like a mini Chicago, but there was something pleasant about its size. Clean, not too much noise, not too quieteither.
I sipped the vodka tonic I’d made myself, then set it on the cement ledge and took abreath.
