I cared about him, deeply so…more than I’d cared about anyone, but it wasn’t until that moment in the fire that I really knew just how much, and it scared the ever loving shit out ofme.
“You think you’re so good at hiding how you feel, but you’re not, Jace. Not with me. It’s been too many years forthat.”
“I was so selfish, Nance,” Iconfessed.
“How?”
“It was just harmless fun, and I’ve had fun with plenty of people before. But then this turned into more. I should have stopped it at some point. I should have walked away and let Dax live his life. I saw the look on his face when he walked into that hospital room. He was scared…really scared, just like you and Keegan. Not a day goes by where I don’t worry that I’m going to do the same thing Crawford did to us. That I’m hurting you guys by doing what Ido.”
“Jace, I’m so proud of everything you’ve done. And yes, I’m terrified, more so because of what happened with Crawford, but I know with both of you, there’s nothing that you could do that could ever make you as happy as saving lives. I know that’s why you do it, and I love you forthat.”
She put her arm around me, and Mac, seeming to realize he was standing between us, stepped off the sofa and headed to his bed by the media console. She scooted toward me, pulling me in for a hug, and it all came rushing out of me, every bit of emotion I felt, as though I’d been holding back, damming up. It spewed forth, and I wept as though I wasn’t just weeping over Crawford or Dax, but over everything that had ever happened that I’d heldback.
I fought it, but it waspointless.
I washopeless.
“There it is, Jace. I knew you had it in you somewhere,” she said, rubbing her hand over the back of myhead.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t bestronger.”
“You don’t have to be strong all the time, Jace. We can take turns. That’s the whole point oflife.”
“I know that, but thank you for saying it. I just love you guys so much, and I want to be here for you. You guys have my wholeheart.”
“Yes, we’ve had your whole heart for a long time now, so maybe it’s time we share it with someoneelse.”
Her words caught me bysurprise.
“I always figured Crawford was one of the reasons you kept people at a distance, never got in any serious relationships, and I hoped that when the right person came along, you’d know it was time to let the wallsdown.”
She pulled away and took my chin, lifting it so I was looking her in the eyes. I batted at my tears, struggling against themstill.
“Don’t you think it’s about time,Jace?”
She was right. She echoed so many of the things I’d been battling since all this crap from our past had been dredgedup.
Dax Munro…what am I going to do aboutyou?
39
Dax
Ipoundedon the door to Serena’s hotel room so loudly, the sound echoed through the hall to the point where it even caught me off guard. My face swelled with heat as I tightened myfists.
It was difficult to determine what was bothering me more: the events that had transpired earlier that day, Jace’s rejection, or the thought of Serena preying on Keegan and the Kruses in a moment ofweakness.
Regardless, she wasn’t getting away withit.
Not this fuckingtime.
The door opened, and Serena stood there, her mouth and eyes wide in apparent shock. “Jesus Christ, I thought I was going to have to google hotel-room invasions in Fever Falls, GA. Dax, what iswrong?”
“Mind if I come in?” I asked, forcing the words out as I struggled to maintain somedecorum.
She stepped aside and allowed me into her room. “Not exactly the Ritz-Carlton,” she said as I entered the single bedroom. “It was just going to be for a few nights, so I got somethingcheap.”
“I didn’t come here to see yourroom.”
