“So what happened with the guy lastnight…”
“He started flirting with me at the bar.” He chuckles. “God, it’s so nice sharing this withyou.”
“I didn’t ruin things, didI?”
“Naw. I got his number, so maybe we’ll even meet up again while I’m here. That way, I can get out of you guys’hair.”
“You’re not in ourhair.”
“Come on, I’m not stupid. This is where it all went down…and now you guys are engaged. I don’t want to be in the way. Ineverwanted to be in theway.”
“You never were, Ty. You’ve been great since thebeginning.”
“It was rough the first night, but…it’s actually done me a lot of good. It’s just too bad we didn’t know this about each other in college. We could have had a lot offun.”
He must see the way my face scrunches up because he immediately adds, “Like going out to clubs together. Not, oh, not that. Gross. Like I said, you’re like my brother. Soon-to-be stepdad even,remember?”
“How can I forget? God, how do we get ourselves into thesemesses?”
“You startedit.”
He’s being playful, but there’s something important we need to deal with. “So…in terms of telling Eric, are you planning on doing this…before thewedding?”
“Of course. I just want a little more time, I guess. It’s a lot right now. This isn’t the only thing I’m figuring out. There’s work and schooland…”
“Yeah, you’ve clearly been dealing with plenty on a lot of different levels. There’s no rush. It’s yours to deal with however you choose, but Eric isn’t going to do anything other than love the person you are…that you’ve always been. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say it’d be nice to not be thinking about this on my weddingnight.”
“Ew, gross. I don’t want to hear about you on your goddamn wedding night with mydad.”
“Why do you only saydadwhen it’sgross?”
“Because I get to make that as awkward as possible, because it’s hilarious, or at least, that’s the way I’m coping with it right now.” He abandons his mimosa and steps around the kitchen island, his arms folded. “So how do you feel, with not tellinghim?”
“It’ll be awkward not sharing it with Eric, but he’llunderstand.”
“I’m sorry if last night put you on thespot.”
“It wasn’t ideal, but we’ll figure it out like we do everything else. However, if you do ever want to chat about a guy or girl you’re seeing, I’m here. You’re not alone in this. Not anymore, atleast.”
“Thank you. Actually”—he takes a deep breath—“it feels a lot easier now. Even though I was doing things with people, there is this strange thing about not being able to share it with the people you’re close to, being like, trapped in your own head, working through shit. Just telling you about that guy last night… Wow, that feltamazing.”
“I get that.” I reflect on the beginning of my relationship with Eric and all the things I couldn’t share…all the secrets…and how it evolved from something that seemed like we could compartmentalize and keep all to ourselves. Then, as our feelings intensified, finding out that it wasn’t just one area it affected. It permeated our entirelives.
I say, “Now give me a fucking hug and let’s at least get a little tipsy off these mimosas, okay? Hair of the dog andall.”
Ty smiles, and as I rise from the stool, he rushes me for ahug.
We hold each other, not the sort of quick hug we offer when we’re coming and going from a movie or a restaurant, but a real, meaningful hug, the sort that speaks of the friendship we’ve earned over theyears.
“We gotta down these fast, because I need some gelato,” Ty adds while still holding metight.
I chuckle as tears shift in myeyes.
It’s not that I’m sad, but despite all the bullshit that’s gone down, here we are, and he’s shared something so important withme.
Maybe I didn’t ruin everything afterall.
30
