I must be pretty drunk not to have grasped that sooner. Or maybe it was simply the last thing I expected, so I’m totally thrown as we stand perfectly still, staring at eachother.
“Um…are you guys boyfriends?” the guy against the wall asks, glancing back and forth betweenus.
Too many questions crowd my head, and I turn around. My bladder is nearly as full as my mind, so when a guy moves away from the urinal, I step into the availablespace.
I can hardly focus on what Ty and the guy in the stall are whisperingabout.
It’s never taken so long to unfasten my belt and unzip my fly before, but as I hear, “Jesse,” behind me, I find myself feeling the way I did when Charlotte showed me how to parallel park for the firsttime.
Nervous. On edge. And like it’s taking for-fucking-ever.
I finally get it done, but I can’t fuckingpee.
My nerves are shot, and I can feel Ty standing close tome.
I button back up and fasten my belt, turning around to Ty, facing him. I haven’t been this uncomfortable about confronting him since Eric and I had to tell him about what we weredoing.
“I’m sorry. I was trying to go to the bathroom, and…and damn, I haven’t been this tipsy in a while…but I support you, andI—”
“Jesse, this isn’t the place to talk aboutthis.”
I glance around, and the awareness of how loud I’m being about this in the public restroom hitsme.
“I—”
Ty takes my hand and guides me out of the restroom. “Your fly’s still undone, by theway.”
“The fuck?” He’s right. I zip it up as he escorts me through a back door, onto a back deck, before helping me down a set of steps to the streetlevel.
I’m worried about Eric and Liam not being able to find us, but also, I realize we have something important to discuss…so fucking important, and damn, why did I have to drink somuch?
Ty leads me around the side of the building to an alley. At least we’re alone. I’m quiet for a stretch that seems as long as when I was trying to go to therestroom.
“You okay, man?” Tyasks.
“Me?Ty—”
“Hey, what are you guys doing out here?” We turn at the same time, and Eric and Liam are standing at thecorner.
Fuck, fuck,fuck.
I’m so on edge. There’s so much to talk about with Ty. I want him to know I love him and support him, but I also want to know why he hasn’t been able to talk to me about this. Is it something I didwrong?
Ty says, “Bathroom was crowded when we went in, so we were gonna go outhere.”
“I looked across the bar and suddenly saw you guys racing out the back door,” Eric says. “Wanted to make sure everything wasokay.”
Why is everythingspinning?
I feel sodisoriented.
Soconfused.
I can’t keep that image of Ty with his pants down and making out with that guy out of my fuckinghead.
And—
“Oh, God,” I say, bowing forward and shooting out what liquor I’ve beendowning.
