“Okay, all right, I guess we gotta toast or some shit,” Ty says, lifting his glass, and Jesse and I followsuit.
He twists up his expression as though he’s giving this serious consideration. I imagine he’s devising a clever joke. He’ll talk about how this gives him enough ammunition to tease us until retirement. Or ask us to celebrate a toast to ruining his trips to PV in the future. So many directions he canchoose.
“To two of my favorite guys in the world. Thanks for letting me be a part ofit.”
He clinks his glass against ours, and I try not to make too big a deal out of it, but as I catch Jesse’s gaze from my periphery, I can tell he’s just as surprised by the words as Iam.
I’m still waiting for some punchline or some way that he’ll deflate the seriousness of his words, but he’s quiet for a moment, his expression stoic. I wish he would wear his emotions on hisface.
“So how did it go down?” he asks. “Aside from the wrong person doing the proposing, whathappened?”
Jesse and I make eye contact for the first time since Ty’s sincere words. It seems we’re both wondering how the hell to begin to answer hisquestion.
“That is a normal thing to ask if two people get engaged,” Tyinterjects.
“Do you remember the day when we went on that walk, the day you got busy with work?” Jessevolunteers.
I can read the suspicion in Ty’s expression, the curiosity, as though he wants to press about what happened on that day. Surely he knows. Surely he can put two and two together. He’s not an idiot. “Yeah, Iremember.”
“We were at that same beach as when we were first getting to know each other. And there was no one around, and it was so picturesque, only the two of us walking and looking out at the waves crashing onto theshore.”
“What was the thought? What was the thing that made you want to ask him, since you weren’t planningit?”
I have to admit, I’m curious about thatmyself.
“I guess I was taking in the beauty of it all and thinking about what you’d mentioned, and being back there and reflecting on how far we’ve come since we first met, I realized I’d never want to be with anyone else in the world the way I want to be with Eric. It was kind of impulsive and kind of crazy, but I feel like that’s kind ofus, so I went forit.”
I anticipate judgment or anger or offense in Ty’s expression, but he must see something in the way Jesse describes it, because he looks at peace with what we’ve done, more so than he has in thepast.
“That’s beautiful. I mean that.” Ty looks around uneasily,swallowing.
Oh, what’s he going to say? I don’t want to see him in pain or aching, but I can understand why he wouldbe.
“It’s just,” he adds, “it’s gonna be hard deciding whose best man I’m gonnabe.”
Jesse and I can’t resist the full, rich laugh his commentearns.
“Naw, but seriously, guys, I’ll be proud to be there. We’ll get some funny looks, and I’ll probably be red-faced from blushing the whole time because it’s not the coolest situation to be in, but I can’t think of any two people in my life who I want to be happier than you. I’ve said it before, but as shitty of a situation as this was, you guys really have tried your hardest, and I love you both forit.”
“I love you too,” I tell him, and as I say the words, I recognize that, like saying I’m proud of him, it isn’t something I say often enough. Perhaps it’s a habit I should takeup.
For the first time tonight I feel like I’ve been able to read how he feels, given his wide-eyed surprise. He smirks and nods…a reminder that as far as we’ve come, we still have a ways togo.
I do love him,though.
More than herealizes.
If only I could find some way to get that through tohim…
27
Jesse
The big NewYear’s Eve party is tonight, so after we finish dinner, we head back to the condo and change before heading out to the club where Eric and I went to dance on one of our first outings together. I guess it could be considered one of our firstdates…
Seems like twice as many guys are dancing as last time, even though it’s much earlier and most of the club patrons are still wearing shirts. They drink and laugh and chat among themselves. We navigate our way to the bar, and Ty grabs us our first round ofdrinks.
Between those and the champagne from dinner, I’m already fairly relaxed as we hit the dance floor. Eric and I are still maintaining a distance we wouldn’t normally be keeping between us if it was just the two of us, but I don’t need to be right up on him when I know he’s the man I’ll be spending my lifewith.
