“Dude,” he says, slapping my shoulder. “If you love each other, and you both do, why the fuck not? Right? You guys have already dealt with enough shit as it is. I’m not sure what in the hell you couldn’t handletogether.”
We’ve had a rare experience that not many couples have to endure, and despite the negative side, there is the positive in knowing we can handle a lot ofbullshit.
I don’t know what to say, but Ty lets me off the hook. “Okay, now let’s get somegelato.”
“We don’t need to worry about keeping our abs intact for the party?” Iask.
“Abs won’t disappear over a little gelato. You telling me you don’t want to get the chocolate cheesecake coconut blast you got last time we werehere?”
“I’d be a liar if I saidno.”
“Then let’s just be honest withourselves.”
Ty’s not just talking about gelato, but about the rings too. It’s nice being at a place where we can talk as we would have back in the good olddays.
As we continue on our walk, the seed that stupid ring discussion planted sprouts, coming to life, growing faster and faster, without much hope of me doing anything to stopit.
I have a vision of Eric holding my hand, gazing at me with that look only he can manage—filled with love and appreciation, showing me that part of himself that’s just mine. He wears a suit and tie, and by the look in his eyes, I know he’s mineforever.
“Jesse, you want sprinkles?” Ty asks from the gelato stand, shaking me from myfantasy.
It’s for the best,though.
Too much, toosoon.
Just a silly fantasy like when I’d imagine having a foster family back in the shelter. Although, I learned once that dreams could not only come true, but be better than I ever could have possibly hopedfor.
Is it too much to ask for that twice in onelifetime?
22
Eric
While Jesseand Ty are out at Julio’s Designs, I hit the beach before we all meet up and Jesse catches some surf withme.
There’s magic to this place as it conjures up so many old feelings. Seems like only yesterday Jesse had that little accident on his surfboard, and I was at his side, helping him, worrying about him, needing him. God, how desperately I wanted his flesh against mine, to taste his beautiful mouth. The intensity of the guilt I experienced consumed mybeing.
However, in spite of it feeling like the experience was not all that far away, it’s so distant as well, as though it were lifetimes ago. I was another man back then—a man living in more fear than he was willing to admit. I was trapped in darkness, and the boy I thought I met was really the man to wake me up from my nightmare. He brought me to life in a way I’d neverexpected.
After a few hours of beach time, we grab some lunch, then head back to the condo. Ty had to go fetch a speedo Julio was still working on for the party, and I don’t waste the opportunity. The moment Jesse and I enter the condo building, I take his hand, interlocking ourfingers.
We head back to my unit, and I’m filled with a sort of determination as we enter and I push Jesse back against the door, my lips nearly as hungry for his as they were the first time we were here, when our lust was a riptide dragging us out deep intopassion.
We frantically pull at one another’s clothes, the barriers that confound me in this moment with how they attempt to divide us. When we reach the bedroom, I close and lock the door, then take Jesse’s mouth once again as I shove him back against the adjacentwall.
I finally regain my senses and manage to pullaway.
“You pick out a sexy little speedo for theparty?”
We grintogether.
In this lighting, the sun reflecting off those magnificent chestnut-brown eyes, I’m hypnotized by the perfect man I see beforeme.
It’s like I know him so well, but there’s this distance still there, greater than the clothes we’re unfortunately still wearing. Nothing so important that it would change my feelings for him—simply the sorts of things we can’t know about each other, all the stories left to tell, all the stories I don’t mind spending my life discovering as our worlds unravel more and more, and hopefully, intertwine at the sametime.
“You want me to show it toyou?”
I’m smiling like an idiot...I knowit.
