I’m so enchanted by our conversation that I’m kind of disappointed as we get close to the campsite. Like with so many nights we share, I feel like I could keep this goingforever.
“God, sorry. I’m rambling again,” he says, catching himself in the middle of one of his energetic monologues. “Sorry, uh, psht, you don’t care about any ofthis.”
“That’s not true. I do care, and I’m actually listening to you, which is why I’m so quiet right now. Jesse, you really do have very interesting opinions about all this, and I just… It’s things I’ve never even thought about, so I’m having a very good time hearing you sharethem.”
“Oh, well then, in that case, allow me to bore you a littlemore.”
He picks up right back where he left off without missing a beat, and as he sits there moving his hands about wildly, expressing his frustration and excitement, I find myself wondering who the fuck is this amazing man sitting besideme.
39
Jesse
We parkthe car by our campsite before Eric guides us to a trail he researched before we arrived. With the map app on his phone pulled up, he leads the way. We follow a path that winds around the lake to some docks, and as we step into a parking lot for the rental boat companies, I say, “I think we’re getting a little off-trailhere.”
“Really?” Eric asks. “I think this is actually exactly where we need to be.” He beams like he’s so goddamn proud of himself, and I realize I’ve beenhad.
“Are you fucking kidding me rightnow?”
“Not even alittle.”
I shake my head as he leads me down to the dock. “And when did you plan allthis?”
“I already have my boating license, and I’ve been renting through this company for a few years. They have rentals out west and in the southeast. It’s one of the reasons I picked thisspot.”
“Aren’t you a clevermotherfucker?”
“I have mymoments.”
Yes, hedoes.
After checking in at an office beside the dock, an attendant leads us to one of the motorboats—white with a wide blue stripe around it. We board, and Eric drives us out onto the lake, which glistens with sparkling specks of sunlight. I lounge on a cushioned seat across the back, spreading my feet out on thefloor.
Eric’s hair blows back in the wind as he sits behind the steering wheel, shades on, shirtoff.
Though we’re only in late March, the weather is plenty warm. We’re lucky with how everything workedout.
It’s evident by the way Eric drives that he’s done this on plenty of occasions. We wave to other boaters, and like at Wendy’s, there’s this weight off my shoulders. We’re not hiding or trying to be discreet. It doesn’t feel like a weighty dark secret now that we’re free to move around in public. I don’t think I realized how oppressive that feeling was untiltoday.
While I do feel a sort of freedom, there’s still that lingering discomfort. Because the one person who needs to know stilldoesn’t.
Eric finds a cove, anchors the boat, and grabs hisbackpack.
“Think it’s time to make sure you put on some sunscreen,” he tells me, retrieving the bottle from hisbackpack.
“Oh, what? You think I’m going to go crazy and not put any on like that oneday?”
“Not going to risk it. I’ve got to protect that prettyface.”
“I have a few ideas of what you want to do to this prettyface.”
“You mean things I’ve already done to thatface?”
I laugh, rising to my feet as he says, “Take your clothesoff.”
“What?”
“Take your goddamn clothesoff.”
