“I told you it’s a beautiful view, and it really would’ve been a very nice thing to share with you, just you, but maybe it’s better that it worked out this way. Maybe we needed this to remind us that at the end of the day, we’re both going back to our lives, and this will all be in thepast.”
“Is that what you want?” Iask.
“No.”
I shouldn’t say what’s on my mind, but I can’t resist. I don’t want to resist. “It doesn’t have to be over. I mean, obviously, we can’t be prancing around here together, but when we get back, I would like to see you again, if you want to dothat.”
He doesn’t respond, and it makes me feel that maybe I’ve been wrong about what we’veshared.
“I would really like to see you too.” Eric’s admission nearly makes me gasp fromrelief.
We couldn’t have found a more complicated situation if we’d tried. It would’ve been fairly difficult for us to have made it more complicated than this, that’s forsure.
I turn my glance to the hallway Ty exited through to get to therestroom.
“Is he coming back?” Eric asks, peeking over hisshoulder.
“No, no, I was just making sure. And while he’s gone, I figure we should take advantage of this moment.” I raise my glass. “A toast of our own,maybe?”
He raises his glass, a slight smirk unable to shake the disappointed expression on hisface.
“To everything we’ve shared, to everything you’ve shown me,” I say. “I’ve appreciated it all, so regardless of what happens from this point on, I want you to know I really think you are a very good person, Eric. I’m looking forward to getting to know you more…at least I hope to get to know you more,Eric.”
I’m repeating his name intentionally…since I know how much he likes when I sayit.
“I’m looking forward to getting to know you as well,” Eric says as he taps his glass againstmine.
The chiming sound hums in my ears, ringing through theair.
As we look into each other’s eyes, it’s easy to forget we were interrupted. At least in this moment, it really is just a date between the two of us—the date Eric suggested, the one I wanted. No, it’s not the same, but it feels as special because at least we had amoment.
“Congratulations, Jesse,” Eric says, and those simple words send a rush of excitement through me, mean as much as when I told Charlotte and Stan about thejob.
“Thank you,” I tell him before turning and watching the last sliver of sun disappear behind the horizon, reminding me that this part of whatever Eric and I have been doing has come to anend.
It was fun to lose ourselves completely and recklessly, but that was temporary, and now, what we pursue—if anything—comes with the realization that there’s a lot more at stake. Even knowing the consequences, there’s something inside me that tells me there’s much more to us than what we’ve discovered in this short time—something that must be explored. And that as difficult and problematic as it may prove to be, it might be worthit.
32
Eric
Idrink a Bud Light,which is kind of refreshing after all the margaritas Jesse and I had in PuertoVallarta.
I lean against the pool table as Allison angles over it, taking aim at the eight ball. She wears jeans and a thermal. Her dark hair is pulled back in a ponytail, which shakes behind her as she strikes the ball, knocking it into the corner pocket shecalled.
I applaud hervictory.
“And all done while Remy was checking out my ass,” she says as she stands tall and turns around to Remy, who sits at a table against the wall beside the pooltable.
He raises his hands—a clear surrender. “My apologies to the master,” hesays.
Allison smiles and shakes her head. “Apology accepted,” she replies. “Now, I think Baxter and Eric owe usshots.”
“You got it,” I say before heading to thebar.
It’s seven of us altogether—the crew I was telling Jesse about—Allison, Baxter, Remy, Jax, Dexter, Will, andmyself.
I love these guys to death. I can’t imagine a group that could get me the way they do, and it’s nice to see them again. We rarely get a chance to get together like this. It’s not like when we were in our late twenties and could slip away anytime for a late night of pool and drinks. Now it’s every few months. We all started as rebels, doing our own thing, and now we have cushy jobs and IRAs. It’s kind of amazing how far we’ve all come, though it makes sense because it’s clear that a bunch of like-minded, ambitious outcasts managed to find oneanother.
