“Well, I appreciate that you feel like you can share things with me,” I say. “And I want you to know I feel very similarly about you, that I do feel like I can talk about things I don’t necessarily talk about with everyone, and it feels nice. I hope that’s how it feels foryou.”
Eric smirks. “Surprisingly, it reallydoes.”
“Come on,” I tell him. “Why don’t you show me how you tear it up on the dancefloor?”
28
Eric
Jesse guidesme through the crowded club. Several of the patrons, most of whom are tourists here for the season, glance ourway.
Even though I notice a few interests directed at me, it’s the ones directed at Jesse that catch my attention, leave me feeling overprotective and jealous. Something primal within me wants to mark him, claim him as mine, even though he’s not. We’re just messingaround.
As we make our way into the fog-filled room with the dance floor, Jesse finds a space between some of the patrons already dancing, some totally out of it, their eyes wandering and their arms flailing without regard for the beat. They’ve obviously taken pills, and that’ll become a lot more prevalent the later itgets.
Jesse whirls around to me. The navy polo he wears, with a stripe across his chest, is tight against his body, his arms swelling in the sleeves. His chest pushes forward, stretching the fabric and giving me a clear indication of where his nipplesare.
The strobe light has switched from flashing a variety of colors to green. As it goes dark and then flashes in succession, he moves toward me, pressing his body against mine without hesitation or regard for the audience around us. Not that anyone is watching us, but I expected a little uneasiness atleast.
He moves to the music, and he doesn’t even have to move his body but a minute before I can feel his natural rhythm, not to mention his slighterection.
“Do you go out to gay clubs a lot?” Iask.
“This is my first time, but it seems likefun.”
“Oh…you just seem really comfortable withit.”
“I’ve never had this many people looking like they were interested before,” he says with a grin, and a lump forms in my throat as I tenseup.
He’s not mine, I remind myself. He should be able to go home with any of these guys and me befine.
“I’ve been to dance clubs before,” he adds. “I do actually get out and have a good time, so this isn’t totally outside of something I would do. I like this vibe. Are all gay clubs this muchfun?”
“I don’t know. Are all straight clubslame?”
He presses his lips together, clearly realizing he was making a fairly silly generalization. “That was dumb of me, wasn’tit?”
“Oh yeah. Ignorant, for sure. You should probably shut up anddance.”
He does just that, pressing that hard-on against me as we move our hips insync.
As I move, I notice him scanning me up and down. I doubt he was expecting me to be able to dance like this, and I like surprisinghim.
He pushes his hand down against the small of my back, taking the lead as I follow his rhythm, matching it. The way he takes control like this is part of what draws me to him, yet it’s also the thing about him that intimidates the fuck out of me. That’s why I had that breakdown when he started playing with my ass. I don’t have any doubt that as good of a bottom as he is, he’d be as good of a top, and it’s not that I wouldn’t want that—it’s that I can’t give that to him. That’s too much forme.
I’m not weak. I’ve never been weak. But I know mylimits.
I lean toward him, pressing my face up against his as I whisper into his ear, “You’re pretty good atthis.”
“What can I say? I love to dance. Judging by the way you’re moving, you dotoo.”
“I do,” I confess. “I just haven’t had a lot ofopportunities.”
“Well, I’m glad we’re fixing that issue rightnow.”
He closes his eyes and keeps up with the beat, and I do the same, allowing myself to push away those darker thoughts he activated—those thoughts I can never entirely escape, that hauntme.
Our bodies are in sync the way they are in the heat of passion, but this experience is much different. There’s a connection on another level, and I’m just listening to mybody.
