He growls again and then nips at my earlobe. I like that even though we reached the end together, he’s still filled with this frisky, electric energy…that he can’t get enough ofme.
I turn to him and force my lips against his, and he eagerly accepts my kiss, resting his hand against my face, holding itsteady.
I have to admit I don’t want him to leave me yet. I don’t want this experience toend.
Sure as fuck never thought I would be this greedy for acock.
24
Eric
Icling to Jesse.I don’t want to let himgo.
I’ve lived enough life to know that when something feels this good, I have to savor it because tomorrow, that thing that created such passion, such a beautiful sensation within me, can turn on me—twist into something painful,cruel.
Despite how I’ve caved to my desire, my hunger for this experience with Jesse, I can’t escape my awareness of what this could mean down the road for my relationship withTy.
Yet there’s another part of me that’s aware that’s already been screwed over, that no matter what I try to do, how I try to mend things, there will always be this distance between us, so what can it hurt? Why deprive myself of something that feels this right over something I can’t do anythingabout?
Once I finally manage to pry my hands off Jesse, I discard the condom in the trash can in the bathroom. As I reenter the bedroom, Jesse’s lying on his back, breathing steadily, gazing up at the ceiling with a smile across his face, like he’s trying to process everything that just happened. He runs a hand through his hair, then relaxes his arm over his head. Turning to me, his smile expands even further. He can’t know how pleased I am that he enjoyedhimself.
Now when he reflects on it, he’ll look back at ease and someone who generally cared, rather than some bastard who didn’t give a fuck about how he felt or if he enjoyedit.
“Is this the awkward part where we try to figure out what we do now?” Jesse asks before rolling onto hisside.
I hop into bed and stretch out alongside him. “I think another shower is in order for sure,” I tell him, resting a hand on his face, almost without meaning to. I caress my thumb down to his chin, running it through the dip in the middle, studying those lips, their curvature, the light shade ofpink.
“So how does that compare with messing around with girls?” I askhim.
“Kind ofamazing.”
“Kindof?”
He pushes my shoulder. “Don’t get all cocky now oranything.”
“I think you like it when I’mcocky.”
“Maybe a little bit. I had a really good time. I wouldn’t mind having that same good timeagain.”
“I wouldn’t mind that either,” Iconfess.
His gaze sinks, and I wonder if he’s thinking about the same thing I’m thinking. It almost feels like we’ve tricked each other into believing this has nothing to do with Ty, but I’m not sure I want that illusion to end. I don’t want anything to stand in the way of what we’ve realized we can work outtogether.
“Like we said,” Jesse tells me, “we have a few days to enjoy it at least,right?”
I hear worry in his tone, like he’s afraid of me refusing him, not granting him this experience again, which obviously is a hell of a lot better than if I had frightened him, freaked him out, sent him running. There’s a terrible part of me that just wants to give Jesse what he wants again and again and again…as much as he wants it. And I’m kind of stunned he’s taken an interest inme.
“After what just happened,” I tell him, “I think I’m developing somewhat of an infatuation withyou.”
“An infatuation?” he says, his lips curlingupward.
“Now who’s the cockyone?”
The sound of his laughter hits my ears just right, like those sounds he made when I was inside him. It’s the confirmation I need…to know I’m making himhappy.
But I can still see the worry in his expression, that worry we both share, a worry that it seems neither of us wants to deal with in thismoment.
I put my hand on his face and draw him near for a kiss. It’s a distraction, a way to not face the truth. Not now. Not while we’re having such a goodtime.
