He stares ahead for a moment before taking a breath. “I’m not really sure what to feel about that. Ty and I don’t have the best relationship as it is, but I think I’d be kidding myself if I were to try and pretend I don’t want my hands all over you. How do you feel, as hisfriend?”
“Like a terrible friend. But like you said, at this point, I’d be lying to myself if I acted like I didn’t want to do things with you…bad things…naughtythings.”
I notice movement in the crotch of his shorts. I glance around to make sure no one will notice before I reach down and tap the bulge. “Yeah, you like that, don’t you?” I say, giving him a hard time, trying to break up the awkwardness of thisconvo.
He enjoys the laugh for a moment before turning serious again. “My biggest concern is I don’t want to fuck up your friendship withTy.”
“And my biggest concern is not fucking up your already fucked-up relationship withTy.”
“So what do wedo?”
“If we fuck around while we’re here, and we know that’s all there is to it, are we hurting him? It’s not like we’re walking down the aisle together and I’m going to be Ty’s newdaddy.”
He starts to laugh, but then cringes. “Oh God. Yeah. I don’t think we have to worry aboutthat.”
“As long as we both agree to make sure not to do anything that could hurt Ty, I think we’ll be fine,” I tellhim.
“Ty’s lucky to have a friend likeyou.”
“He’s lucky to have a dad who cares about him too. Honestly, if you’d asked me that last week, I wouldn’t have said that about you. Not from the way Ty’s depictedyou.”
The way his jaw tenses, I can tell that wasn’t a subject I should have broached. I bite my tongue. “Sorry. That’s probably one of those areas I should avoid talkingabout.”
He doesn’t deny that, just keeps walking, staring forward, thinking about something. I wonderwhat.
“Thanks for teaching me how to surf, by the way,” I tell him. “I appreciateit.”
He seems to pull away from whatever he’s thinking before saying, “No problem. And look, about what you said, withTy.”
“You know, Eric, the great thing about a subject change is that it gives you anout.”
He turns to me and offers a warm smile. “Thankyou.”
Whatever the truth is behind their relationship, it obviously pains him, and as curious as I am to know his side, the story as he sees it, I know that isn’t my place. Eric clearly likes to keep things close to his chest. Doesn’t want to show his hand. And considering how little time we’ve known each other, I don’t have a right topry.
We stop at the restaurant he was telling me about, and as the host sits us, suddenly I’m thrown. This is a date. No, not a date. We just messed around. But then why does it feel like adate?
I know the answer: because hot as the sex is, I’m genuinely interested in getting to know more about Eric. He fascinates me. And isn’t that what dates are? When you get together with someone you think is hot and want to get to knowbetter?
Shit, we’re totally on our firstdate.
20
Eric
When the waiterapproaches the table to take our drink order, I start to order a margarita when Jesse interrupts with, “We’ll have apitcher.”
“Very good,” the waiter says as he scribbles down on his notepad before headingoff.
“A pitcher? Really?” I say. “Well, I guess we’re on vacation. We need to live itup.”
“Isn’t that what we’ve beendoing?”
“As we said before, I assume we’re doingmore.”
I can’t believe the words coming out of my mouth. I was already saying too much when I was in the shower with him this morning…and even when we were walking down the boardwalk. It was strange talking to my son’s best friend, whom I got off with this morning, about making sure we didn’t hurt Ty, but it was nice to see how much Jesse cares about him and how much he understands the tricky situation we’ve found ourselves in. And nice as that is, it’s also nice knowing that neither of us is confused about what we want to experience more oftogether.
I’m sure he thinks it was weird when I told him I didn’t want to take advantage of him or for him to think I was just “hitting and quitting it.” I’m glad I made my intentions clear. He can’t understand how important it is to me that he knows that hot as the sex is, I see him as more than that, and I want to see evenmore.
