“I’ll go get you something,” Hayde said. He rose from his chair. Kinzer could have used some food and water anyway.
“No, wait.”
He stopped and turned back to Kinzer, who had a curious expression on his face, which twisted into what appeared to be suspicion.
“Yes?”
“I want you to know that I’m not falling for it this time. Any sincerity. Any kindness you show me. I know that means nothing to you.”
“Well, that’s a smart way to live. I think that’s for the best.”
Kinzer’s expression didn’t shift. “I don’t fucking get your game, Hayde. It’s like you’re only around to fuck with my head.”
Hayde didn’t respond. What the fuck could he say?
“Did you feel what I felt,” Kinzer began, “when we were out there?”
“What did you feel?” Hayde asked, trying not to let his expression give anything away but desperately wanting Kinzer to tell him he felt just as strongly.
Kinzer shook his head. “Doesn’t matter.”
But it did. It mattered so fucking much.
Hayde couldn’t dwell on that, though. He headed out of the chamber.
When he reached the hall, he collapsed against the wall, trembling, nearly unable to stand. Oh, it hurt so much when Kinzer disregarded him like that, but it was what had to be. He scratched at his arms, digging his fingernails into his skin until he created pink streaks.Kinzer, you have no idea how strongly I feel for you. You have no idea what I would do for you.
But in that, he also knew, Kinzer was too good for him. That he, a fallen with such a big heart, deserved better than some waste of a flit—a flit who had caused so much more harm than he’d ever intended.
