“I didn't want it. I didn't ask for it.”
As much as Kinzer wanted to console her, he knew there was little he could do. She was right. She hadn't asked for this burden, and she was a mortal, now caught up in a world that was far beyond her ability to comprehend. It wasn't fair, but it was her lot, and Kinzer could only hope that she was willing to go along with their mission, if only to simplify the heinous ordeal that surely lay ahead.
***
Has he really never found someone else?
Kinzer sat on a twin bed. Cream floral designs scattered in patches across his beige comforter. He watched Dedrus’s ass shake in his khakis as he paced before a painting of engorged purple petals.
Dedrus pressed his cell to his ear, his eyes scanning the room, not noticing the tacky décor.
Of course, he’s found someone. Doesn’t even matter if he hasn’t. He sure as Hell didn’t want me.
Kinzer assumed he was dramatizing his loneliness, just as he had dramatized his love for him so long ago. He dismissed these thoughts. Now wasn’t the time to dwell on the past. They had far more serious problems.
Maggie had showered off and lay in another twin bed on the other side of a nightstand. Her dirty-blonde locks, stringy and splitting, draped over her neck and crept across the pillow. She stared blankly at the TV as muffled voices spewed from the speaker.
“Shit,” Dedrus said. He pulled his phone from his ear, eyeing it.
“Nothing?” Kinzer asked.
Dedrus shook his head and put the phone back against his ear. “Hey, Fie. This is Dedrus again. Call me back if you get a chance.”
Since they’d arrived at the motel, Dedrus had been trying to get ahold of some of the Leader’s Allies.
He wasn’t having any luck.
“Hopefully, someone’s warned them.” Dedrus pushed the phone into his pocket. He brushed his fingers through his tousled locks.
“That sounds optimistic.” Especially considering Vera had mentioned that they’d been hunting the Leader’s Allies earlier that night.
“I’m gonna take a shower.” Dedrus stepped into the white light of the adjoining bathroom, shutting the door most of the way, but leaving it cracked open slightly.
Dedrus was stressed, and Kinzer wanted nothing more than to bring him some ease. Dedrus had been there for him, now was his chance to return the favor. Or was he still trying to punish him?
No. Not that. Even as he’d revenge-fucked him, he was still enjoying himself, and as much as he didn’t want to admit it, he still had strong feelings for the higherling. Maybe there was something more there. They had always had fun together. He loved talking to him, playing with him, fucking him.
No!Dedrus didn’t want him. They’d already established that. He had to shake that from his thoughts.
He chastised himself for his stupidity and for even considering anything with Dedrus when he was still mourning the loss of Janka. He shouldn’t have been thinking like that. If anything, he should have just been having fun. But was it dangerous to enjoy his time with Dedrus? Did he run the risk of falling in love with him all over again?
That couldn’t happen. If there had been a time where Dedrus could have loved him, it had passed. Now, they were just friends—fuck buddies. Kinzer just had to make sure that he always remembered that.
I can do this.I can handle it.
He stripped to his boxers and slipped into the bathroom. A hiss came from behind a white shower curtain, framed by gray walls. He closed the door, slipped next to the curtain, and wiggled out of his boxers. As he pulled the curtain open, its metal hooks rattled together.
Dedrus’s hair lay flat against his scalp—wet, milk-chocolate locks curling into his neck. He scrubbed a white washcloth in circles over his nipples. His brown eyes met Kinzer’s. They were the same eyes that he had come to love, to adore. His hairy face, damp and sparkling under the room’s fluorescent light, shifted with a smile, like he was so happy that Kinzer had decided to join him.
Kinzer stepped into the tub and closed the curtain behind him.
“It’s a little cold,” Dedrus warned as he stepped back under the showerhead, facing away from Kinzer. He ducked his head, letting the water splatter across his scalp and shoulders.
He stroked the washcloth up and down his arm, building a creamy layer of suds.
Kinzer felt drops of the cool water prick at his flesh.
“Will you get my back?” Dedrus tossed a glance back.
