“Don’t. You have every right to be upset.”
Upset. That’s a trivial word for what he’s been through, you idiot.
Dedrus scanned Kinzer’s body, admiring his massive biceps, his brown eyes, and his black waves of hair. Even with the wounds and tears that still tainted his face, he was beautiful. Dedrus wanted to press him back against the cushions, rip off his clothes, and provide him with the ease he deserved. But no! He was just wanting it for himself, and he was pretending that it was to serve Kinzer’s pain.
“I loved him so much.” The words cracked through Kinzer’s lips. His cheeks and forehead shivered. Tears filled his eyes. “I know we had so much time, but it wasn’t enough.”
The sting in Dedrus’s chest intensified. His cheeks flashed red as anger washed over him—anger that he loathed because it made him feel like a terrible, selfish creature.
He set his hand on Kinzer’s back, his palm stroking softly across the blue fabric of his polo. He wanted to say, “You’ll find love again.” He couldn’t, because he knew he’d really be saying, “Please find love in me.” He thought of saying, “Everything will be alright.” No. He couldn’t make that kind of promise. “It’ll take time,” felt appropriate, and yet, as an immortal, Dedrus never perceived time as a generous gift as much as a twisted, agonizing punishment.
“I wish I could think of something right to say about this,” Dedrus said, “but I can’t. I know how much you loved him, and I know how much he loved you, and I can’t imagine how hard this is going to be for you. But I’m here. As your friend. I don’t know if that means much, but I know the feeling of having something so perfect and wonderful torn away from you.”
Kinzer’s gaze met his. His eyes were sad.
Does he know what I’m talking about?
“Tell me you’ve found someone,” Kinzer said.
“Of course,” he lied. “I’m just being overdramatic.”
“I figured as much. Considering where you work, I'm sure you get a lot of offers.”
It was true, but not the way Kinzer was suggesting. There were nights when Treycore dragged some pathetic mortal back to ease Dedrus’s pain. Those nights were the loneliest. Though he could bring himself to climax, it was an empty relief that just stirred the cruel memories of those moments filled with so much more.
Dedrus hugged him again. “Let’s get to bed,” he said. “You need some sleep.”
Kinzer nodded.
“We have plenty to sort through tomorrow. You can have my room. I’ll just sleep here.”
Dedrus released him.
Kinzer picked the sword up off his lap and stood. He reached his hand out. “Come on. It won’t be the first time we’ve shared a bed.”
The upward curl of his lip let Dedrus know that Kinzer was more than interested.
Dedrus’s dick swelled. “I don’t think I can.” He wanted Kinzer so bad, and if he put himself in that position, he was sure he wouldn’t be able to resist making a move—especially if Kinzer initiated something.
“I'd rather not disrespect you like that,” Dedrus said.
Kinzer’s hand fell, bouncing against his jeans. His head drooped.
“Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Dedrus smiled. “‘Night, Kinzer.”
Kinzer knelt, offering a light peck on Dedrus’s lips.
Don’t tease me with a taste!
“Up the stairs, first room on the right.”
Kinzer walked up the stairs, headed down the hall, and slipped into Dedrus’s bedroom.
Dedrus had hoped that Kinzer’s exit would provide some relief.
It didn't.
