Kinzer hesitated. There were rules against talking to mortals about immortal affairs, but at this point, Kinzer didn’t care. His world had been ripped out from under him, and right then, with his thoughts jumbled and disoriented, he desperately wanted someone to talk to. And given Kid’s circumstances, he didn’t imagine there was much that could shock him. He took a breath, recognizing the consequences of what he was about to do. That wasn’t going to stop him.
“You believe in God?” Kinzer asked.
Kid snorted. “You serious? Listen, I don’t need you or anyone else shoving their religion down—”
“You want me to answer your question or not?”
Kid eyed him skeptically. “Okay, okay. Go ahead.”
“God’s a bad word. It means too many different things to too many different people. What I’m trying to say is, there is a creator of this world. A very powerful being that we call the Almighty. Before he created this planet, he created another set of creatures. People here usually refer to them as angels. We call them higherlings. These immortal creatures were his pet project, designed to imitate his most self-appreciated attributes.”
“You trying to tell me you’re some sort of angel? I was actually curious. You don’t have to be a douche.”
“Not an angel.”
The waitress approached their booth. From a tray she carried, she set two white mugs with brown-stained rims before them. Black fluid waved against the white sides of the insides of the mugs. She placed a plate of sugar and creamer packets in the middle of the table.
“You fellas know what you want to order?”
“Fuck,” Kid said.
“Can we have another minute?” Kinzer asked.
“Whatever.” She went back to the counter.
“If you’re not an angel, what are you? A demon?” His arched eyebrow assured Kinzer that he wasn’t buying it.
“We prefer to be called fallens. Will you look at your menu before she comes back and gets bitchy with us?”
Kid scanned it again.
“Ooo! They have waffles! I haven’t had waffles in forever.” He sipped his coffee. “Mmm. That’s really good.”
Kinzer tasted his. It was burnt. He scowled. Grabbing five packets of sugar off the plate, he ripped them open and emptied them into his mug.
“Sorry,” Kid said. “You were saying? You’re a demon?”
“A fallen.” Kinzer stacked a few of the creamer packets by his mug.
“You trying to steal my soul? 'Cause I think you’re a little late.”
Kid was so much giddier than he’d been at Jerry’s. Kinzer imagined it was his excitement over his new freedom.
“You mortals have a pretty fucked up sense of what’s really going on. That’s not even close to how this works.” Kinzer peeled a packet lid back and poured the creamer into his mug. “After the Almighty created the higherlings, He fell in love with the one you guys call Satan, Lucifer, Prince of Darkness. We fallens know Him as the Leader. They had a fling. According to legend, they had some pretty great sex.”
“God’s gay?” Kid asked. “Top or bottom?”
“Eh. The Almighty’s kinda a hermaphrodite, so I don’t know if He’d be consideredgay, but I think you can rest assured that He’s a top. Anyway, they were lovers for eons. During this time, the Almighty created a present for the Leader: the world. However, the Almighty was so disgusted by it that He tried to hide it. Eventually, Satan found the world, and when the Almighty explained that it had been intended as His gift, the Leader…Satan…thought it was pretty sweet. Not long after that, they split up.”
“Why?” Kid’s eyes widened, as if he was surprised that he’d asked that.
Kinzer figured he must’ve sounded like the nuttiest guy in the world. Maybe it was better that way.
“The Leader and the Almighty always fought over the hierarchy of Heaven, which divided higherlings into different classes. The Almighty’s most beautiful and intelligent of creations made up the ruling class. His more usual creations, like me, belonged to the lowest class.”
“Oh, you’re not usual.” Kid’s gaze lowered, clearly indicating Kinzer’s dick.
“You’d be surprised. Anyway, the division and inequity enraged the Leader. He inspired a lot of us with speeches and writings about equality. After eons of social strife and protest, the Almighty cast the lowest class out of Heaven with the Leader, allowing us to form our own society in Hell. This was called the Fall. Part of the agreement between the Almighty and the Leader was that anyone who went with the Leader was banished from Heaven forever, and they had to char their wings as a symbol of their transgression against Him. He was very overdramatic about the whole thing.”
