I’m expecting an outburst. Rage. Fury. Confusion. Hate, even.
But a smile spreads across his face. “Holy motherfucking shit!”
Why did he say it like that? And why the fuck is he grinning?
“Oh, dude, this makes me feel so much better. Here I figured I was the only one who was gay.”
Now I’m the one who’s confused. “Wait. What? You're gay?”
“Yeah, but doesn't it make sense? We're both brothers. I mean, genetically, there was some possibility this could happen.”
He's right. Even though I'm technically bi, now doesn’t seem like the appropriate time to explain the details of my sexuality. In fact, he’s already too involved in my sex life in this moment, as I sit on the floor with Scott, naked, and with a condom still on my dick.
“This is so cool,” he goes on. “Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm just so happy to know I wasn't the only one. I wanted to tell you. Kate told me Ishouldtell you.”
“Kate knows?”
“Of course Kate knows. She's my sister.”
“I'm your brother.”
His expression twists. “Really? The brother who has been fucking my friend and roommate is now telling me thatI'mthe one who was keeping secrets?”
I like to think this means we're on an even playing field, and I should be appreciative that that’s the case and just let go of this.
“Do you know what this means?” he asks.
“What?”
“We can totally go to gay clubs together now.”
“Hey,” Scott says. “I'm really appreciating this whole brotherly communication thing, and the fact that you guys are talking about stuff you’ve never shared before is totally awesome, but if I'm gonna be honest now, I think this would be better if we put clothes on and had an actual discussion… dressed.”
“Agreed,” Jordan says. “Let’s go to Blake’s!”
His eyes are wide, and if I’d caught him making that face without any context, I’d think he won the lottery.
This is not how I thought my brother finding out about me fucking his friend would go down.
33
Well, that was weird as fuck.
I was so embarrassed when Jordan walked in on us in the middle of having sex, seeing me with a big fat hard-on and his fucking brother’s cock buried in my ass. He shouldn’t have found out like that, but I don’t think I get to complain, considering that’s the best case scenario in terms of Jordan not totally wigging out about what we were doing.
But it got out of control.
We went from fucking around to so much more. We got caught up in each other, in enjoying the fun and the playfulness of it all. In the process, it’s gotten far more serious than either of us planned.
I like Mikey a lot, and it’s not going to be easy for me when he goes back home—something I keep being reminded of as we share what I know are the last days we’ll have with each other. I’m going to have to say goodbye and be okay with that.
We Uber to Blake’s, Jordan telling us about how his hiking plans fell through before rambling about how excited he is about his discovery. He tells us the story of when he first starting feeling attracted to guys in elementary school and about one of his first crushes. Even the driver is excited to be in on the news.
Jordan asks Mikey questions about the same sort of stuff he’s sharing, but hardly gives him time to answer before he continues telling us about his own experience. I don’t think he’s trying to monopolize the conversation; he’s just held this in for so long that it’s like a dam was finally lifted, releasing a wave of emotions that have been trapped behind it all this time.
When we reach Blake’s, we order some drinks before taking a nearby table.
“This is so exciting that I can actually do this with you guys,” Jordan says, glancing around Blake’s with excitement.
