We’ve already had to witness it throughout our childhood. She shouldn’t have to endure it again. And the thought of her precious baby having to be around that for any serious length of time rips into my heart.
“It’s just going to be until I can get some money from the divorce,” she says. “And living off an elementary school teacher’s salary in Georgia is hard enough as it is, so I don’t have many options, especially if I want to keep from having a long commute.”
“If money’s the issue, I can pitch in. I’m not rich by any means, but I have enough in savings that I can loan you a decent amount of money at the very least.”
“I can’t accept that.”
“It’s nothing.”
“Mikey, even if I borrowed money to get a place, I’d still have to have somewhere to stay right now. Lyle said I can stay at the house if I want, and he’ll stay somewhere else, but I can’t. Not after everything that happened. All it reminds me of are all my shattered dreams.”
“Can’t you stay with friends?”
“I’m not going to ask any of my friends to put up with a child who wakes up every night at two in the morning screaming. And do you really think that this is something I even want half the people I know to find out about?”
“But how can you do that to a kid? Have him around Mom and Dad?”
“I’m not excited about it, but I don’t really have any options. And they have so many rooms, it’s not going to be an issue for them.”
My face fills with heat as even the idea that she has to spend more time around them enrages me.
“None of us have ever forgiven him, but he’s not a monster. He’s not going to beat the shit out of anyone.”
“I know that. But still…”
“This isn’t your decision to make, Mikey. I’m a big girl, and I made this decision on my own. If something happens that’s going to threaten my child, I will take him somewhere else.”
There’s anger in her voice. I can tell she feels like she has something to prove.
She deserves a break, though, and not me barking down her throat about her decision, especially since she’s had to make one quickly because of everything that’s happened.
It doesn’t make me feel any better about it.
I bite my tongue through the rest of our chat, accepting that she has a right to do what’s best for her and her child.
She tells me she plans to move her things out of their home next Saturday. Evidently, she’s been playing catch-up this weekend, trying to finish projects and grading she neglected right after her discovery of Lyle’s betrayal. I might need to reschedule some things to make it work, but I plan on being there. I’m sticking around if only because she needs to know that there are people who are here for her.
But fuck if this hasn’t made me pissed at my shitty parents all over again.
6
I’m still working on my Paradise Lost poster when my phone buzzes on the desk beside me.
Dad.
I should keep working. Something in me tells me it’s the right thing to do, but I’m not going to ignore him.
“Hey. What’s up?” I answer.
“How’s it going, bud? What are you up to?”
I don’t want to tell him. I already know how he’ll respond, but this is my life, whether he likes it or not, and just like he had to get used to me being gay, he has to get used to this.
“A client I’m finishing a project for.”
“One of those little drawing things.”
He’s trying to get to you. Don’t let him.
