“Then what are you doing not being with him right now?”
“The project we were working on together, it ended, and I had to come back here to continue my life, and like I said, he's in Georgia.”
“There's not any way you both could have worked that out?”
“We could have. We still could, I figure, but I don't know. He didn't really push for it or say anything that made me believe he’d be interested in finding a way that we could make this work.”
“That doesn't sound fair, does it? If distance is the only thing keeping you apart though, do you think that, if you went and lived in Georgia, he would want to keep seeing you? That he would be interested in that?”
“I know it.”
And I do.
As confused as I was when I left Georgia about how he felt, I'm not anymore. I know he keeps talking to me because he genuinely likes me. And I felt how much he cared in that night we shared before I left—the night I don't think I'll ever be able to get out of my head.
“You’ll have to forgive me for pushing, but if he really is this special, what’s stopping you from finding a way to be out there to make this happen?”
It’s a good question. “Doesn't that seem crazy? Three months and then uprooting my life?”
“It's a gamble, but if it’s something you could do, why wouldn’t you?”
“Well, he certainly hasn’t offered to do that.”
“Maybe he thinks it seems crazy, too.”
And the way she throws my words back at me like that makes me really question how I’ve been approaching this.
“But you must not really think something is there,” she insists.
“That’s not true.”
“If you did, and if he really cared about you, you’d be with him right now. Not in this bar.”
It really is that simple.
If I want to keep seeing him, all I have to do is go back out there and be with him.
My life is such that I could find a way to work outside of LA—even tele-work a little longer. I certainly have the credentials and the contacts to get work in Georgia. But Jenny made a good point. As much as I put this on Scott, as much as I've said that it's about what he wants, I never offered up that I would be willing to move my life for him either. I would be willing to do that for us, and I know it’s because it’s a big step—a risk—and for what? Something I’ve never really let myself believe in?
At least, until I met Scott.
Until Ifellfor Scott.
“Is he worth the gamble?” she asks.
“He is.”
I answer too quickly. So quickly, I don’t doubt the words as they escape my lips.
I want to be with Scott.
Yeah, it has been fast and crazy and beautiful, but I've had enough sex and I've lived long enough to know what I want, and what I want is him. And maybe this is a huge mistake, but goddammit, I think it's worth fighting for this because, even in these two weeks, I’ve discovered that a life without Scott isn't a life I'm interested in.
“I think you're making a lot of sense, Jenny.”
“I do that from time to time. What do you say we get another drink? If I’m not getting laid tonight, I want to at least get wasted.”
“It's on me.”
