I’ve never heard him like this. He sounds so hopeless. Sooverwhelmed.
“The Reese I know is a fighter. Even when it gets hard. Things likethis come up, but he knows how to get through them.”
“It’s more than that stupid letter,” he says. “All that did wasremind me of a mistake I was about to make.”
“A mistake?”
“We can’t do this.”
“Reese, you’ve gotten through shit like this plenty of times.We’re just gonna—”
“This isn’t about this episode. It’s about us. This isn’t goingto work.”
He might as well have decked me. I open my mouth a few times,trying to think of how to react to this.
“I can’t do that again,” he says. “I’m not ready for arelationship. That letter just reminded me that it’s too much.”
“What kind of bullshit is that?” Is he being fucking seriousright now? Is that why he’s so upset? Here I thought he was having some sort ofbreakdown over the past, but really, he’s just been dreading the idea of afuture with me?
No. My mind races through all the beautiful moments we’veshared. The moments when I could feel us getting so much closer. That wasn’t alie. But I’ve thought that before. I thought that with Kyle and the other assholes.Have I been fooling myself this whole time?
Have I been feeling so much more for him than he’s been feelingfor me?
I refuse to believe that.
“Are you telling me that this whole fucking time that we’ve beendoing all this shit together, you haven’t felt anything for me? It’s just beenthis fun thing without any deeper feelings behind it? More than fucking.Because it sure was more than that for me. I…I…”
Don’t say it.
But I can’t help it. I have to know. Because if he reallydoesn’t feel this way for me now, then I need to get the fuck out of here. It’sonly going to hurt worse the longer he lets it go on.
“…I’m falling in love you.”
He looks at me, his eyes wide in horror. Like that’s the worstfucking thing I could have said to him.
I feel like I did when I wore those panties for him. Naked.Exposed. But in the worst possible way.
He sits up. It’s the most he’s moved since I came home.
He rises to his feet. “Love? Are you out of your mind?”
He sounds pissed.
“We’ve been seeing each other for two months, and you’re goingto tell me you love me? You don’t know me. You don’t know who the fuck I am,and I don’t know you.”
I’ve never seen him like this before. Has he really been hidingthis side of himself all along?
“Why are you being so mean?” I ask.
His gaze drifts. “You can’t handle this.”
“What?”
“This is going to be too much for you, and you might not leaveme today or tomorrow, but one day, you will. Just like Melanie did.”
“How can you say that? You haven’t even given me a chance.”
“I don’t need to give you a chance. I know how you are. You’velived your life running from your problems, and this one is too much for you tohandle. Melanie was a strong woman…a dedicated woman, and it was too much evenfor her. That’s what getting that letter reminded me.”
