I’m so fucking lucky.
A car pulls alongside us. That must be our ride.
I pull away, but Reese puts his hand on the back of my head andholds me in place as he continues our kiss.
I surrender, savoring the moment.
29
Reese
I head through the factory, spot-checking some of themaintenance that’s been performed on the annealing machines over the past fewweeks. Gotta keep on top of the contractors or they’ll skimp on the work andhave to come back out in another few months for something that could have beeneasily prevented if they’d just done the job right the first time.
As I descend the stairs, heading down into the main warehouse, Ispot Jay in a tight-fitting T-shirt, on his knees as he drives a nail into apallet with a hammer.
“How goes it?” I ask as I approach him. He turns to me, his eyeswide like I surprised him. Sweat rushes down his face. He wipes his forearmacross his forehead.
“Hey,” he says. “I’m just reinforcing some of these pallets.Loads of fun, you know?”
“I bet.”
“How about you?”
“Usual shit. The maintenance guys fucked up a few things hereand there, but nothing they can’t swing by and fix next week.”
“Lazy motherfuckers.” He rises and glances around.
I know what he wants. A bunch of the guys are in the break room,and William is on the forklift on the other side of the warehouse, so I’m nottoo concerned about us being caught.
We meet halfway and kiss. It’s tender. Soft. There’s somethingreassuring within it—the promise that when we need the relief of each other’stouch, it will be freely offered.
A popping sound comes from behind me.
I grab Jay and force him to the ground.
It’s an instinct that sweeps over me in an instant, andsuddenly, I hear the sounds of my nightmares—my memories. The explosions. The gunfire.The tension in my chest swells. My adrenaline races. I can hardly figure outwhere the fuck that sound came from because I’m trapped in the sensations thatovertake my body.
I lie flat, my limbs spread out, my hands pressed tight againstthe concrete floor.
As Jay gets on his knees beside me, he says something, but Ican’t hear it over the memory of my commanding officers shouting at us as weworked our way through the labyrinth of corridors in the streets of Fallujah.
The more I scold myself—try to bring myself back to thepresent—the harder it becomes.
Laura always tells me to relax into it. Fighting only makes itworse. Fighting only increases my anxiety and makes me feel like the thoughtsare overtaking me.
I try to concentrate on my breathing, counting to myself. As Istart to feel myself coming back, I turn and see Tyler and two other employeesheading down the stairs into the warehouse.
Fuck me. Fuck me to hell.
I try to break the spell of the episode, but the stress ofknowing the guys are in here, seeing me like this, is too much for me.
“Reese?” Tyler asks as he hurries down.
“Can you just give us a minute, please?” Jay asks.
“Sure, no problem,” Tyler replies. “Come on, guys.” He spreadshis arms out in front of them and leads them back upstairs, checking over hisshoulder. When they leave, I hear Jay say, “Come on, Reese. Come on.”
He grabs my face and pulls so that I turn to him, looking him inthe eyes.
