“Had a Grindr whatever,” he says.“Went real well. Guy couldn’t even stay hard.”
He laughs. Bitter amusement atwhat was clearly an incredibly unsatisfying experience.
As we come to his room, I help himretrieve his key from his wallet and open the door for him, guiding him in withhis arm over my shoulder.
“Oh, you should stay for a drink,”he suggests.
“I don’t think that’s such a greatidea.”
“Why not? You know you could staythe night if you wanted to.”
He looks me in the eyes, hisdrunkenness revealed through the honesty in his expression. His hair is a messover his head, seemingly from running his hand through it one too many times.
I’m sad that I can’t reciprocatehis feelings. The guy deserves to have someone in his life. But I’m not theone.
I remove his arm from my shoulderas I help him sit on the bed. “I should head out,” I say, heading for the door.
He jumps from the bed, grabs myarm, and pulls me toward him. I guess he underestimates my movement because he pullsback and trips.
I lunge forward and catch himbefore he tumbles back. His eyes widen with excitement, and I can tell thathe’s turning this into something it just isn’t.
“My hero,” he says. He runs hishand through my hair and across my cheek. He kisses me quickly, but I pull backnearly as fast.
“Okay. Time for you to get tobed.” I help him up and start for the door.
“Are you seriously going?Seriously?”
I turn back to him. “Yeah.”
“Wait. Was I totally wrong inassuming that there was something…”
“I mean, there was curiosity whenI first started.”
“But then…magically nothing?”
“Darren, you know it doesn’t worklike that.”
“Are you and Tad fucking?” It’snot a question. It’s an accusation.
“Where the fuck did that comefrom?”
“You are. Cut the crap. I knew youwere hooking up since that first fucking time when I went into his room andyour shirt was lying on the goddamn floor. But you can’t tell me there’sseriously something more to it than that. Is there? I mean, a guy like youwouldn’t—”
“A guy like me wouldn’t what?”
He doesn’t respond. He inspects myexpression like he’s trying to understand how there could be something morebetween me and Tad.
I calm myself because I know he’sjust drunk, and while some part of his words may be how he honestly feels, he’slikely making a far bigger deal out of it because of his drinks.
“Darren, you’re an incredible guy,and—”
Tears well in his eyes.
I feel like the shittiest personin the world right now. Not just because he’s interested in me and I’m not intohim like that. But because I led him on when I first arrived.
“Don’t,” he says. “I just…Thisjob’s pretty lonely. You don’t really get a chance to meet a lot of guys, and Iguess I kind of hoped that someone like you could…”
“Darren, you don’t have to sayanything else.”
