“They’ll understand that you lostyour shit on a civilian. No one out there knows that Tad’s life has beenthreatened. To them, there was no reason for you to take it that far.”
“I don’t understand how you guys—”
“Maybe that’s the problem, AgentFinnegan,” Kiernan says. “We’re not talking about a little incident here. I seewhy it can look that way to you, as an outsider.”
I shouldn’t be offended, but theway he said it, I feel slighted.
“You’re thinking: one angryfan…who gives a fuck? You know how much I care about that guy? You could havetazed him, and if no one ever found out about it, I wouldn’t give a fuck. Andall the bloggers and fans who give a shit? Eh, big fucking deal. Those aren’tthe guys I’m concerned about. You know who I’m concerned about? Ford, Pepsi, Adidas,Wheaties. Do you understand what I’m saying? We’re talking millions of dollars,not just money that funnels into my son’s pocket, but that the team relies on. Ifhe makes the team look bad, then all these sponsors could potentially fire Tador the Cowboys from their contracts because of a scandal. I know you don’t knowtoo much about this part of the industry, but lemme tell you, Tad has had arough PR year, and that means the Cowboys have had a rough PR year. And we haveto do the best we can to keep from rocking that boat, especially with threelosses at the beginning of the season. Because if we ruin his rep, we aren’tjust ruining it for Tad, but for the whole team. Now I’m not saying you weretotally in the wrong, but do you get what I’m talking about here? Do youunderstand what’s at stake? Because if you don’t, I’m worried you’re just goingto cause us more stress than you’re worth.”
I silence, considering my responsebefore going off on Kiernan, which I’m liable to do right about now. As I scanthe room, it’s evident that everyone’s against me. They’re an angry mob lookingfor a hanging.
“I get why you care about Pepsiand Ford and Adidas,” I say, “but at the end of the day, if something happensto your son, what do you think is going to happen to those contracts?”
I can tell by the shift ineveryone’s expressions that the mob doesn’t appear as eager to ready theirnoose for me. Although Darren, who sits on the couch playing with his phone,looks like he’s just trying to keep out of the whole thing.
“You all are so obsessed with hispublic image that it doesn’t seem like you’re really giving much consideration tohis safety. I don’t know what you thought you signed up for, but my job is toprotect Tad. I’m not here to be your friend. I’m not here to kiss up to paps orcorporations with vested interests in his survival. I’m here because you needsomeone to keep Tad alive. I can do that. What I did today, if you run it byAgent Roeder, you’ll learn was exactly what I should have done to keep everyonesafe. I’m sorry that it turned out to make you guys look bad, but at the end ofthe day, you still have a player. And a son.”
I direct those last words at Kiernanto drive my point home. Up until this issue, they haven’t had to face thereality of what it means for Tad to need me around. They’ve lived in the ivorytower of prestige and fame—one that’s kept them in a bubble from these life-or-deathsituations.
“Any of you ever had a gun aimedat your head?” I ask. “Any of you ever been stabbed and thought that, if you’renot careful, this just might be your last night? I was put in this positionbecause I’ve seen the kinds of guys that are willing to commit a crime likethis. And you know what they don’t care about? What fucking contracts you have.Who you need to impress to keep those contracts. In fact, if anything, everyobligation you have and every moment of even feigned unguardedness that you puton to keep up appearances is just another advantage they have over you. Anotherthing that gives them the opportunity. So I’m sorry we can’t play houseanymore.”
Kiernan and Debra didn’t interruptme, so I figure they’re finally listening. Finally starting to realize howserious this all really is.
“You sure did pick a great timefor this,” Kiernan says. “Tad’s three-year contract will be up at the end ofthis season, and he’s already on thin ice with the Brenner Hughes deal…amulti-million-dollar deal, I might add, and theywillpull out if theythink public opinion is going to take another dip. Do you get how much moneythat is?”
Brenner Hughes, a majorinternational designer for sporting goods, is certainly a company that couldafford to drop a couple of million on an athlete like Tad, so I can imaginethat whatever the deal is, it’s pretty sweet.
“Do you get that this is the dealthat could be what my son retires on?” he continues. “You know what the NFLstands for? Not…For…Long. Because this shot is brief for whoever is luckyenough to have it, and you have to make the best of the opportunities thatmanage to come your way. Right now, Brenner Hughes is the only company thathasn’t backed out. The only one who hasn’t left his ass high and dry after allthe…” He looks to Tad, fury in his eyes. “…stunts you’ve pulled.”
“I know, I know.”
He’s referring to the year beforewhen during the Super Bowl, Tad was exposed as a cheat when the press found outhe’d been fucking around on his long-term boyfriend, fellow NFL player JordanSpears.
“I can take care of Linely atBrenner Hughes,” Debra says. “I’ll think of something.”
Kiernan redirects his attentionback to me. “Can you please just promise me that you won’t go ballistic unlessyou really feel there is a serious threat?”
I don’t know how to convey to himthat I wouldn’t have done anything unless I’d considered it a threat.
“This isn’t something unusual forus,” he says. “I get that you might have been a big shot at the FBI, but aroundhere, Tad is used to people accosting him on a regular basis. That’s part ofbeing a celebrity. Carson has handled dozens of situations like that withoutmaking a fuss. You don’t have to tackle people and restrain them. These arenormally reasonable people who get a little star-struck, that’s all.”
“It was a little much,” Carsonsays, iterating his disapproval, which I don’t need right now.
I question my reaction. Maybe Iwent a little too far. After what happened with Jeff, I’m not surprised thatI’ve become a little jumpy. But what if I wind up hurting someone because ofit?
Ten
Tad
I feel bad for Bryce.
At first, I thought he’doverreacted, but as he explained himself in the hotel room, I understood wherehe was coming from.
I’m still not totally processingthe seriousness of the situation. The letter read like any other piece ofhate-mail I get on a regular basis. But it’s not, and I have to keep remindingmyself that it’s a lot more serious than it appeared. The only reason it stoodout was because of what a big fuss the news made about those letters to LanyonRains and Pierce Kingsley. When I asked Darren to follow-up on it, he sent anemail to one of his pals at the FBI, and the next thing I knew, we were gettingcalls about taking precautions to protect me.
But as Bryce pointed out, we’venever had to deal with anything like this. Even now, I’ve tried convincingmyself that the threat isn’t real or that the killer won’t follow through withit. I can’t know that for sure, though. I’m sure Kiernan and the others arehaving a hard time accepting it also. First, none of us want to accept that Icould really be in that much danger. Second, nothing in my life has changedenough to make us feel like my life is really at stake. At the end of the day,we just have to accept that the killer has made it clear he only has one goal:to kill me. Bryce is here to keep that from happening, and we have to find away to ease up on him and let him do his job.
Since our last experience, Ihaven’t made any moves on him. I received word back from that privateinvestigator. He sent me some attachments about Bryce’s past, which I didn’thave a chance to look through for a couple days because I was so busy withdrills and watching films. But when I finally made time for them, I discoveredsome things about Bryce that have made me realize he isn’t the complete ass heacted like when he first joined my team. He and his partner, whom he wasinvolved with when he was working his last operation in North Carolina, wereworking undercover with a coke drug cartel. During their operation, theircovers were blown and his partner was shot. While I’d been eager to find somedirt on him, I hadn’t wanted to find out something that made me feel like I’dbeen a real asshole to him when he’d first arrived to help me out.
