“Okay.”
“Okay?”
A heavy sigh poured out of my body. “Start the process and I’ll sign the papers as soon as I get them.”
He seemed like he wanted to say more, but before he could my father, Parrish Bailey, entered the room. “You asking my daughter for a divorce on the day she memorialized your child?”
I sat on the sofa, just rocking and thinking while my father repeatedly punched Xander everywhere his fist could make contact.
Chapter
One
Bailey
Two Months Later
I found my oldest sister,Perkins, in the kitchen. I knew that a lot of people felt like when there were too many women in a family, the family tended to be messy and unsupportive. I was blessed that my family wasn’t like that. My mother, Alisha, was a bus driver. She drove public transportation while we were growing up. That meant long hours away from home where we had to look out for ourselves and each other.
Perkins was the typical bossy and annoying big sister. There was no denying that. She was also approachable, loyal, and would beat the brakes off anybody who ever tried to come for any of us.
Collins was the motivated, level-headed, and career-driven sister. Collins would set goals and not stop until she reached them. She also gave good advice, helped with homework, and liked organization.
Church was the typical baby. She had three older sisters who stayed in her business. She went along to get along. She wascoachable, flexible, and obedient. She never gave any of us any problems and respected us stand-ins for our mom.
Then there was me. I wasn’t sure how my sisters would describe me, but to myself I was the domesticated Kingsley sister. I wanted the fairy-tale. I wanted the husband. The home. The kids. I wanted to host Christmas and Thanksgiving at my house. Cook huge meals and have floors so clean you could eat off them. Unfortunately for me, my dream of a fairy-tale life or marriage never materialized.
Whatever. I was thankful that after the dust settled from Xander asking for a divorce and my daddy beating the hell out of him, that my family didn’t leave me alone in Chicago. The first month, Church rearranged her life and stayed with me. Now, Perkins was with me. She’d left her three girls with our mom and her husband, Bayliss, to stay with me in Chicago offering her support and a shoulder to both cry and lean on.
I had to admit that I hadn’t done too much crying over Xander, though. I was hurt that my marriage crashed and burned. I was hurt that Xander treated me the way he did, but I was okay with the idea of a separation from him. I saved my tears for the thoughts of the memories I would never make with my son.
“It’s time.”
Perkins looked up from her phone and made eye contact with me at the sound of my voice. “Time for what, Bailey Boo?”
She’d been treating me with kid gloves since she arrived. I appreciated it because when Perkins didn’t monitor her behavior, she could be annoying.
“It’s been two months. Xander is never gonna file the paperwork to get the divorce going. I think I should just do it. Waiting on Xander to have me served has me feeling like I’m in limbo.” I took a deep breath and pushed out the next set ofwords. “I was in limbo almost my entire pregnancy, waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s triggering.”
Perkins nodded slowly. “I can see that. Let me look online and see what you need to do.”
“Thank you.” I crossed the room and stood in front of her, then I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a tight squeeze. “Thank you.” I sat down at the island on the stool next to hers. “I have brain fog. I don’t have it in me to look up anything, Perk. Every minute feels like I’m trying to breathe underwater.”
She gave me the pouty face. “I hate you’re going through this, but we’ll get you straight.”
While she typed away, I rested my head on the countertop. I was so thankful that she was willing to do the leg work. Because while I really was ready to stop waiting on Xander to follow through on his word, I just didn’t have it in me to do the research.
It didn’t take long for Perkins to find the information she needed. The paperwork was available online. She asked me the questions then filled it out for me.
“I love you,” I told her. I was in a funk. Just the thought of completing the paperwork made me feel overwhelmed. I was thankful that she was willing to do what I couldn’t.
“Do you feel up to getting dressed and taking this stuff down to the courthouse?” she asked me when we were finished.
I didn’t feel up to it, but the truth of the matter was that time was winding down. My company, Chicago Transit Works, where I worked as a supervisor in the customer service department, had given me twelve weeks off. That time was winding down. Soon, Perkins would need to return to her daughters and her life in Jackson Falls. Soon, I would need to return to my life and my job. It was time for me to start picking up the pieces and gluing them back together regardless of the fact that I didn’t feel like Ihad the desire or the energy to do so. “Yeah, give me about an hour.”
A weekafter I filed the papers, Xander showed up at my mother’s house. Once he told me that he was starting a new family with his new girl and that he wanted a divorce, I moved out of the house we shared and into my mother’s home. When she moved to Jackson Falls to pursue a relationship with Bayliss, she kept her home in Chicago. At the time, Perkins and her girls lived there. Once Perkins relocated, the house stayed empty unless one of them was visiting. Whenever they came back to Chicago, they always had a place to stay. I was so glad she never sold the house. It gave me a place to stay when I needed to get away from both Xander and the bad memories associated with the ordeal of carrying then losing my son.
I hadn’t seen Xander since the day of the memorial. To say that I was shocked to see him standing on my mother’s front porch would have been the understatement of the year. The fact that he was mugging me when I opened the door for him just added to my confusion.
