“Ryann, you’re my daughter. I don’t want you to find yourself in over your head. I don’t know if it’s a good idea for you to get too dependent on him. Don’t you two have an agreement about co-parenting? Just remember that this is a business arrangement and not an opportunity to play house with somebody who has a different agenda than yours.”
“Daddy, respectfully,” I pushed out through gritted teeth, “you really should’ve let Mom have this conversation because Idon’t know what you’re trying to say, but what youaresaying is pissing me off to the utmost. I?—”
“That’s not my intention, baby?—”
“You know, I find it so funny that when Christian and Gensie were going through this exact same process, you were all support and positive affirmations. Now it’s me, and all I’m getting is keep your baby’s daddy at a distance. We’re gonna be co-parenting this baby. We need to be friends. I need you to stop trying to make this situation more clinical than it already is. Damn!” For the first time in life, I hung up in my daddy’s face. I flipped the lid on the toilet, sat down, and sobbed. That was where Brixton found me about five minutes later.
Ten Weeks Later
“Are you sure you’re gonna be all right?” Zyah probed as she helped me gather up Mocha’s things.
I’d received a call from the agency the day before. Apparently, Mocha’s owners had finally figured out their lives and were headed back to the Chicagoland area to retrieve their dog.
“I have mixed emotions. I mean, she’s been with me for like six months. I love her, but at some point I will have to start preparing for my human baby.” My hand involuntarily went to my twenty-week pregnant stomach and cradled it. “I don’t want Mocha to feel neglected or forgotten.”
Zyah saw the tears in my eyes and crossed the room to pull me into a hug. For the last month, I’d been more emotional than ever before. And I was pretty sure it started when I noticed that Brixton was pulling away from me.
He still stopped by and checked on me. He still brought food by regularly and took Mocha for walks. Gone were the days of foot massages. Instead, he sent gift cards for me to get foot massages from day spas. The bouquets of pink flowers still showed up each week and I appreciated it. The sleepovers had stopped. The chilling on the sofa binging our shows had stopped.
“Aww.” Zyah comforted me.
“But when she goes, I’m gonna be all alone,” I cried.
“You won’t be alone. I’ll be here and Brix’ll be here.”
“Brix is never here anymore!” I blurted. “He doesn’t show up for me in the same way he used to. He’s not… present.”
“What happened?” She held me tighter.
“I don’t know. I don’t know. Maybe he met somebody. I don’t know.” I swiped at the tears impatiently. “Anyway, it’s not important. I need to stop harping on the things that make me unhappy. I don’t want my baby cooking in a cesspool of negativity. Brixton will still be a good dad and a good co-parent. He just won’t be my partner the way I thought he would during this process.”
We were both quiet and I shrugged her off of me.
“Eww. This pregnancy is making you mean, Ry.”
I ignored her. “And what I just told you needs to stay between us, Zy. I don’t want you asking him why he stopped hanging out over here and all that stuff. All I wanna do is get through this appointment and find out if my baby is a boy or a girl.”
“You mean, I’ll find out if it’s a boy or a girl. You and Brix will stay in suspense.” She grinned at me.
I gave her a blank stare.
She pouted. “I thought you wanted to be surprised at the baby shower with a gender reveal. So do you want to know and everybody else can be surprised at the gender reveal?”
I considered it. “Yeah. I can’t go on not knowing. I think that’s part of what has me so cranky. I want to know.”
“Okay,” she agreed easily. “My vote is girl. What’s your vote?”
“Girl,” I confided.
“Okay, put your shoes on. Let’s go find out.”
Later that afternoon, as Zyah whipped into a parking spot at the doctor’s office, Brixton pulled in right next to us. He turned off his truck and hopped out quickly enough to grab my door and open it for me. I took his outstretched hand, and he helped me out of Zyah’s vehicle.
“Hey,” I said as he pulled me into a hug, resting his hand on my stomach as he did so.
“Hey.” He kissed my cheek, sending butterflies directly to my stomach. “You good?”
“I’m okay. I’m getting Mocha’s things packed up. Tiffany called me. She claims that the owners will be in town tomorrow.”
