“I’m so sleepy,” I told him once I was done with my food.
“Go lay down. I’mma hang around. Chill out for a minute. Make sure everything is all right. Cool?”
“That’s fine,” I confirmed.
“Nineteen eggs, lil mama.” He came around the table and placed a kiss on my temple. “You did good as hell.”
“Thank you.”
“You deserve to rest. Go lay down.”
The next day, we got an update on how our eggs were doing. Of the nineteen retrieved, fourteen were fertilized. After five days, we went back in for the transfer.
The nurses at Dr. Montgomery’s office told us that we could transfer as many as five eggs back into my womb. That sounded like a lot. That was how many Genesis said she and Christian chose to transfer and they ended up with twins. Brixton was a twin, so our chances for twins were already higher.
Brixton let me make the decision. I decided to transfer five and freeze the remaining nine for a later date.
Two weeks later, I was scheduled to return to my doctor’s office for a pregnancy test. I would’ve preferred that Brixton take me to the appointment, but they had a game that night. He was out of town, so Zyah and Genesis picked me up from home and went to the appointment with me.
“Do you feel pregnant?” Zyah asked as we piled into her truck.
“I don’t know. I definitely feel nervous, though,” I admitted.
“I know,” Genesis said. “It’s stressful as hell.”
“I’m thinking about doing some… cursory fertility assessments,” Zyah told us. “I mean, I’m not trying to jinx myself or anything, but it’s been hard as hell watching both of my sistersstruggle with their fertility. It’s something you never consider until you want to use it, then to not have it there…”
Genesis picked up where Zyah trailed off. “Yeah. I was so worried about Christian getting me pregnant that it never occurred to me that he wouldn’t be able to get me pregnant. That’s an unexplainable heartbreak. I think it’s smart for you to check things out before you and Amari get your hearts set on having a baby.”
“Yeah.”
I didn’t join in the conversation. I couldn’t. I couldn’t trust that my voice wouldn’t crack, or that my heart wouldn’t break. I wanted the procedure to be successful, but there was always the chance that it wouldn’t be. I took a deep breath, said a quick prayer, and hoped for the best.
After the blood draw, my sisters and I went out to lunch. As soon as I stepped into my house, my cell phone rang.
“Hello.”
“Hey, Ryann. This is Nurse Felicia from Dr. Montgomery’s office. I have the results of your pregnancy test.”
My stomach hit the floor, and I sent up a silent prayer. “Okay.”
“Honey, I’m so sorry, but your test was negative.”
It seemed like as soon as she said that, I felt the tell-tale sign of menstrual cramps.
I was getting my period.
I wasn’t pregnant.
I was getting my period.
I sawthe text before the start of the game.
Rowdy Ryann:
The test was negative.
Four words caused my heart to skip several beats and my stomach to cave in on itself.
