He doesn’t hesitate to say it back, and I can’t help but marvel at how simple it is. How degraded and worthless I used to feel when I’d say those words for them to go unreturned. I hadn’t earned them that day. If only I was more obedient, prettier to look at. The list goes on. Now, even the darkest, most insecure corners of my brain are sure that I would be loved on my most worthless of days. Probably even more than on a normal one. I wouldn’t even have to do anything to deserve it.
~~~~
There’s loud music playing in the kitchen when we go downstairs, which has my ears going hot already. But then I getan eyeful of my brother and best friend dancing like a couple of teenage girls and forget all about the danger I’m walking into.
What a pair they make. Chase approaches quietly with a smirk on his face before taking his phone out of his pocket to get plenty of video evidence. I don’t even blame him. Maybe he’ll send it to me. “You two are something else,” I say, pulling up a seat at the island.
Brady lowers the speaker as Blakely spins around with a cheshire cat grin. “Happy birthday! We’re making tacos!”
My brother reaches over to ruffle my hair affectionately. “Happy birthday, Eas.”
“Thanks,” I mumble. “Tacos for breakfast?”
“Duh. We’re not gonna cook eggs and pancakes or whatever when you don’t like breakfast food. But don’t worry, Brady is doing most of the actual cooking.” Sometimes the thoughtfulness still takes me aback. It’s their standard, but I forgot what it was like to be considered. My parents weren’t great about it and Aaron never thought of me at all. In the grand scheme of things, I’m still really new to this.
It warms me down to my bones. “That’s perfect, actually.”
“Take a guess what’s for dessert,” Brady prompts.
The softness in his gaze gives it away. “You didn’t.”
He raises a shoulder. “Tradition is tradition. They’re not very hard to make.”
I’m not going to cry first thing on my birthday. That’s just pathetic. Not over some revived family tradition that wasn’t even that special when I was a kid, but somehow means everything now that I’m older. It’s only orange cinnamon rolls, but then again, me making lemon ones for his birthday was a much-needed olive branch.
“Well, we had plenty of time to get started, didn’t we, Brady?” Blake asks with a wink. “Something woke us up early.”
I hate this girl. So much. Chase pulls my chair closer, and I take the opportunity to cower against him. “Yeah. Very weird. Did you hear anything unusual, Ace?”
If he’s aiming to embarrass him, Chase is far too amused to take the bait. “Nope. Definitely not unusual.”
He raises his hands. “I surrender. I’m incapable of pushing further. He’s still my little brother.”
Blakely cackles. “Such a baby. My, how far away we are from when you’d walk in on him hooking up.”
Brady glares. I wouldn’t be surprised if he throws a chunk of avocado at her soon. “Onaccident.It’s not like I ever asked for details. Look at that smug asshole over there. He has no shame. He’d traumatize me right now. I’m good. I chose peace.”
Chase is practically gleeful. “That’s a good choice considering one of you is related to my boyfriend and the other is on a dry spell. You guys do not want to play with me right now.”
My insides go all fuzzy at how easily he says boyfriend. I’ve always liked that word on his tongue way too much, but now that I’m not also worried that it’s a curse for him, it’s even better.
“Ugh. I kinda hate you for that,” Blakely grumbles.
Brady gives her a flat look. “You’re not much better than them. I’m tired of you getting heart eyes every time Landon calls.”
“Try dating,” Chase suggests.
He goes pink, suddenly very preoccupied in his cooking. Blakely’s jaw drops. “Uh-oh. Brady’s keeping secrets again. You know what this means, right?”
“I don’t,” I say.
She hops up to sit on the countertop, swinging her feet and abandons the pretense of helping. The risk of food poisoning just dropped drastically. “Oh, my sweet Easton. I have a very old theory that your brother doesn’t date because he’s had a long-term crush that has got him down bad. Because think about it. Ifhe ever took it seriously, he’d be snatched up in a heartbeat. But he doesn’t want to be snatched up. Not unless it’s whatever girl that has made it worth staying off the market for as long as he has.”
My brother tosses a kitchen towel at her. “You don’t know shit, Ellison.”
Quietly, I ask Chase, “How long has she had this particular theory?”
He hums. “Um. At least since our junior year, I think. That’s as long as she’s been giving him hell about it.”
