The entire time the cops are here, the three of them prowl like guard dogs. Always keeping an eye on me, but to be fair, I’m watching them just as closely. To someone less familiar with her, Blakely is composed and rational, if a little bit distressed given the circumstances. She never cries, doesn’t lose it. She doesn’t even start fussing with her hair, which is what she’d do if there weren’t strangers here and something bad happened. We’re all pretty aware that we have no idea how far Aaron’s talons can reach, but with his history with ducking and dodging cops, him having inside connections can’t be ruled out. But we’re the perfect picture of the gaps in protection from stalking. We’re cooperative, and they apologetically admit that there isn’t much they can do until they have proof and a more heinous crime to fall back on.
That’s not the word they use, of course, but it doesn’t make it less true.
I’m also welcome to file a restraining order, but seeing as he could—and will—walk right through a piece of paper, I’m gonna pass on that one.
“Trust me,” Brady urges, sitting beside me on the couch after everyone left finally. “It’ll drive you truly insane. Until you see a body, you have to believe he’s alive. Keep operating like he’s still okay.”
My hallowed-out heart gives a weak thump. “He’s just a kid. Someone is looking for him. If this is what sent Aaron over the edge and killed him…” The sentence trails off, but my brother knows the end. Knows that losing Asher like that would kill me.
Brady sighs heavily. “I promise, Eas, the only thing you can do is keep believing he’s alive. What makes this different, though, is you know this asshole. We’re working off the pieces we can put together, but you’re the only one with the blueprint. You know how to get to him, so it’s all your call. If you walk up to Blake right now and tell her that this plan is too risky, she’ll believe you. So if you separate your worry about Asher and all the negative emotions this brings up on a personal level, you’ll find out if this is worth it to try and antagonize him.”
“You gotta stop being so insightful, Brady. It’s getting weird.”
He chuckles warmly before getting to his feet and holding a hand out for me. I take it and the two of us go find the rest of the troops. “You okay?” Blakely asks, eyeing me carefully.
I take a deep breath, trying to not freak the fuck out that my instincts could determine if a seventeen-year-old lives or dies. “Yeah, I’ll live. You?”
If this is too much for her to handle, I would understand completely. “It’ll take more than that to scare me off,” she tells me with a wink.
“Good, because I’m going straight to Hell for this next part. Aaron can’t torture me with Asher if he’s dead, so I don’t think we should let up. Today showed that we’re getting to him. If we can continue, he’ll make a mistake.”
Three faces morph from varying degrees of grim to determined. “If you’re in, we’re there with you,” Chase tells me.
Blakely echoes the same, followed by Brady telling me he’s proud of me. I don’t know what to do with that exactly, but there isn’t a doubt in my mind that I will not be giving up until that psychopath is behind bars and Asher is safe. “We tried so fucking hard to do this for you, babe. But since that couldn’t happen, there is no one better to find that kid and get him back home,” Blakely tells me when she notices my thoughts starting to stray.
It has to be enough.
CHAPTER 22
CHASE
After ruminating on it for approximately forever, I give my brother a call. It has nothing to do with the fact that he’s the most forgiving—or so I tell myself. Parker barely lets half a ring go by before he’s answering. “Hi, big brother. What’s up?”
I attempt to clear away the guilt of falling off the planet, choosing to try and focus on the path forward. “Hey, Parker. Just wanted to call you, see how things are going.”
He’s either unaware of how terrible of a brother I am or is simply choosing to pretend otherwise. “Well, if you’re asking about me specifically, I’m doing okay. I’m currently heading to pick up Cami. We’re going to some party tonight. I have no idea who for or why, but she wants to go, and it’s Em’s night with Sage, so why not? If you’re asking for a general rundown of everyone, well, it depends on who you ask, I guess. Logan is going to sprout a gray hair about Mom and Dad. Mom is doing okay until you see her, then it’s iffy. Dad started picking up extra shifts because hanging around the house is like going to a viewing for a funeral. Emerson is doing better than he was, but he misses you the most. Sage is exceptional, obviously.”
Hearing this twists the knife permanently lodged in my chest. “I thought she was okay. I’ve talked to her a few times. She’s been texting Easton.”
Parker sighs. “Yeah. To be fair, we thought she was hanging in there too. But you know how she can be. She pretends she’s fine until the illusion comes crashing down. Hence Logan playing meteorologist trying to predict when the hurricane will hit land.”
“I’m sorry. If I’d been more involved, I would have noticed.”
I mean it down to the soles of my feet. I should have known that things were hard for them too and not been so focused on myself. “Can I be real with you for a sec?” Parker asks suddenly.
“Yeah, of course, Park.”
He doesn’t hesitate for even a moment. Parker may be the younger one out of the two of us, but he’s always been the bravest. “I don’t know why we’re mean in your head, dude. We love you. No one is mad. When we talk about you, it’s not like we’re dogging on your trauma processing skills. We’re all grown up enough to miss you but not blame you for it.”
“What is with everyone dropping heavy truths on me and fucking up my worldview lately?”
My brother laughs warmly. “Sounds like Brady is at it again. But maybe your worldview needs to be fucked up a little. You have a tendency to internalize everything and it eats at you. It kills everyone who loves you to see you doing that to yourself. The only difference from that and the cigarette burns on Easton’s arm is that we can’t separate you from yourself.”
“Goddamn,” I croak. “That was an insane call out, little brother.”
“Said with love, so that makes it okay. Don’t worry too much about Mom. It’s been a lot but she’ll even out again, and we’re all on her ass enough that she’s not going to get away with gettingtoo deep into it. You should text Emerson, though. He hated leaving Seattle without saying goodbye.”
“What would I do without you to direct me?”
