She shakes her head as she looks at the photo, a warm smile on her face, then looks up at the two of us. “It’s so sweet to think that you two were childhood friends who ended up together.” She turns to Ellie. “You know, Cam had a big crush on you when you were kids.”
Ellie looks at me, a surprised smile on her face. “You did?”
“Yeah.” I rub the back of my neck, embarrassed that my mom revealed that.
“The way he looked at you gave it away. His heart was in his eyes,” Mom says. “He looks at you the same way now. Sweetest thing ever.”
Ellie’s smile softens as she looks at me. Her phone buzzes, and she looks at it. “Sorry, but I have to run over to the neighbor’s house. I’m looking after their cats while they’re gone.”
“Don’t apologize. That’s so nice of you to do that,” Mom says.
“Ellie runs her own pet sitting and dog walking business,” I say. “It’s really taking off. She’s so good with animals.”
Ellie stands up. “Thank you for dinner, Cece. It was delicious.”
“My pleasure. Anytime you want your mother-in-law to cook for you, you just call me.”
Ellie gives her a hug and walks out the front door. I clear the table and start loading the dishwasher.
“Thanks again for dinner, Mom.”
She starts to wipe down the stove, but I tell her I’ve got it.
“You did all the cooking. Let me clean up.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see her leaning on the counter, looking at me.
I glance up at her. “What?”
Her expression turns thoughtful. “I’m happy that you and Ellie are married.” She’s quiet for a moment. “For the longest time, I thought that you’d never get married. You didn’t seem interested. And I felt guilty about that.”
I frown. “Why?”
She sighs. “Because of how things were with your dad and me. I figured watching our disaster of a marriage play out in front of you would make you never want to get married.” She’s quiet for a second. “And all those times I complained about him to you. I’m sure that didn’t make the idea of marriage all that appealing.”
I finish loading the dishwasher and dry my hands on a towel. “Mom, it’s okay.”
“It’s not okay, Camden. I’ve leaned on you emotionally when I shouldn’t have. I called you to complain about your dad more times than I care to remember. I shouldn’t have done that.”
I think about how conflicted I feel about that. I wanted to be there to support my mom, but sometimes, it made me uncomfortable when she vented about him to me. The last time she did it, I was out with my teammates to celebrate Madeline being on a podcast. I spent an hour on the phone consoling my mom after she and my dad had an argument about splitting upmy baby photos. When I got off the phone with her, everyone could tell my mood was down.
“I shouldn’t have complained to you so much,” Mom says. “I should have kept that as something I do with my friends, not my son.”
She crosses her arms over her chest and slumps forward, like she’s embarrassed. “I’m sorry, honey.”
I hug her. “I appreciate you saying that. I get it, though. Dad can be really insensitive. I’m sorry he’s upset you so many times.”
“I just wish that things hadn’t ended so badly with us,” Mom says. “I hate thinking about how our split affected you.”
“Seeing the way things ended with you and Dad was hard. It’s why I never got serious with anyone. I didn’t want to get hurt like that,” I say gently. I want to be honest, but I don’t want her to feel any more guilt than she already does.
Sadness flashes in her eyes. “I’m sorry, honey.”
I hug her. “You don’t need to keep apologizing, Mom.”
“As a parent, I tried to protect you from the ugliness in the world. And there I was giving you a front-row seat to just how awful a bad marriage can be.”
My chest aches hearing her say that, hearing her apologize for something that wasn’t her fault. Because even though the way she leaned on me emotionally was hard, it’s not her fault that they got divorced. That’s on my dad for cheating on her.
