And that was it. I never asked him to go down on me again because I was too embarrassed about what a disaster it was the first time we tried to do it.
And I figured that there was probably something wrong with me that made him not want to do it at all…just like how sex with me didn’t work out either.
The warmth of Camden’s palm on my knee pulls me back to the present.
“Hey.” His voice is soft, just like his gaze. “What’s the matter?”
I shake my head. “Nothing.” I try to smile, but I bet it looks forced.
He blinks, the concern in his eyes deepening. My shoulders slump despite how I’m trying to play this off. It was such a high giving him a blowjob, seeing him so turned on, watching him unravel as I took him into my mouth and drove him wild with my tongue and my hands.
Seeing Camden, this sexy, experienced hunk, lose all composure because of me made me feel so powerful. I felt like a sex goddess.
And now, just a couple of minutes later, I feel like a shrinking violet.
He swipes away a chunk of my hair that’s fallen into my face. “Did I say something to upset you?”
Warmth courses through my entire body at how much he cares, at how he can tell just from looking at me that I’m upset. My ex never could. I could cry in front of him, and he wouldn’t have bothered to ask what was wrong.
But Camden can tell from my body language and the sound of my voice that something’s off with me. That’s how much he cares about me.
I clear my throat as I work up the nerve to tell him.
“Are you nervous because you’ve never done this before?” he asks, his tone soft.
I shake my head. “It’s not that. It’s just…I tried this with my ex once, and it didn’t work out.”
Camden’s eyebrows crash together. “What do you mean by ‘didn’t work out’?”
I play with the delicate ruffle on the front of my dress. “He tried for a few minutes, but I didn’t have an orgasm, so he just stopped. He said I needed to relax more, and I told him that I was trying to, that it was my first time, and I wished that he’d bemore patient with me. But then we got into an argument about it, and after that we never tried it again.”
Camden leans back on his heels, resting his hands on the tops of his massive quads. He looks off to the side, glaring at the wall. He shakes his head and bites down, his jaw bulging like he’s pissed.
“What a prick,” he mutters.
“I just don’t want you to try to do it and then get upset with me.”
He turns to look at me, his gaze determined. “I’d never get upset with you about something like this, Ellie. Ever.”
That tight feeling in my gut loosens the longer I look at him. Of course he’d never get upset with me. He’s been so patient and sweet this whole time, letting me take the lead on the things that I feel comfortable doing. He showers me in compliments and praises me as he talks me through it.
He’s the perfect partner.
Friend. Perfectfriend. Not partner.
I sit with that quiet reminder I’ve given myself and then refocus.
“I know you’d never get upset with me,” I say. His expression eases. He looks relieved. Like he can’t stand the thought of me thinking he’d ever be mad at me.
“You really want to go down on me?”
His mouth curves up in a sly smile. He nods. “Yeah. It turns me on like crazy.”
I can’t help but smile. One thing I know about Camden is that he’s honest, always. He wouldn’t ever lie to me.
There’s a spark in my tummy as I lie down on the bed. His blue eyes go glittery as he pushes up the skirt of my dress. His gaze runs up my legs, settling between my thighs.
He looks up at me. “Can I touch you?”
